Global Warming: Something to be Worried About?
A little piece I wrote on global warming.
I enjoyed today’s English exam on global warming so much that I’ve decided to further it. Seeming as though I do not have the work I did in the English exam I’ll start from square one. Global Warming? Yes, global warming, it’s basically the Earth rising in temperature by 1°C which would be so unbelievably horrible and nasty that we will all burn and die. That’s the shortened version anyway.
The longer version is that apparently because of little rips in the ozone layer and all that crap, the Earth receives more of a blast from the sun because the ozone layer is meant to protect us from harmful ultraviolet radiation. The Earth heating up means that temperatures become unbearable and we all die. Of course, as with every other myth out there, there are different versions to this tale of mankind’s inevitable end but because there are so many variations I won’t bother telling you (I can’t be arsed in other words). Basically, according to every scientist that doesn’t know his/her left from their right; we are all going to die a horrible and painful death from hot weather.
Bollocks, that’s one of the kinder things I could’ve said that I had on my list. The world’s temperature has increased by 0.75°C in…not ten years, not thirty years but 140 years which is enough to do absolutely nothing to the environment whatsoever. Apparently, Britain’s temperature will rise by about 6°C; this means our weather will be similar to Spain and Italy. The sun will shine all year round in the sky, you wouldn’t have to go on holiday, you could just step outside your door and laze in the sun.
Now just what is the problem with that? Because I don’t see one, but environmentalists want Britain to stay a wet and miserable place so I have an idea. They say ‘Don’t burn fossil fuels because you’re destroying the environment’ then why don’t we burn environmentalists. I mean, we wouldn’t be harming the environment and we would have a useful energy source to keep us going for a few more years when all the oil runs out because of the greedy Americans.
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