Marching Into The Peace Corps, pt 11: “Do you know there’s a war over there?!”

At first she sounded happy and said that was a great idea and a perfect way for me to “see the world”, which is what everyone thinks. “Just don’t go to Columbia – it’s bad down there.” I hadn’t finished dropping the bomb on her yet. “Mom, I want to be stationed in a specific region of the world.” She got a bit quiet as I wound up the pitch. “I want to be stationed in Jordan …in the Middle East .” I began to explain it was for me, there was no man involved, and I wanted to be stationed there for all the right reasons. I’m not sure, but I think I heard crickets chirping in the shocked silence.

“Do you know there’s a war over there?!”

“Where?” I couldn’t resist saying this.

“In the Middle East !” she fumed.

“That’s Iraq , and Iraq is not the entire Middle East . There are other countries over there, you know.”

“Yeah, like Iran , and you’re going to get nuked to death!” she growled.

I did warn you she was a bastion of negativity, and only in the last year have I escaped the worst of it and have learned to be content no matter what state I’m in, as the Bible tells me to do.

“Mom, we all have to go sometime.” I could tell she wasn’t reassured by that observation, however, I wasn’t going to back down from the coming attempt to talk me out of it.

“I hear Costa Rica ’s nice.” Of course she did – she went there on a cruise a few years ago and knows full well what it’s like. I don’t want the jungles – I want the sand; I’ve never heard of anyone being attacked by leeches in the desert and that’s a plus in my book.

We spent the next half hour going around in circles until she realized I was serious as a heart attack about joining the Corps. Finally a reluctant, shaky phrase escaped her mouth: “You have to do what makes you happy, Sue.” I almost tapped the phone and said, “Who are you, and what have you done with my mom?!” She’s never given up or backed down from a fight with me in her life, and she’s thrown in the towel?

I’m sure she hopes I’ll give up on joining, and that would make her happy to know I won’t be flying the nest. She had a hard enough time with me moving from Boston to Dallas , and when I get an assignment overseas, I know it will crush her. She is taken care of though – there are five kids in the family, and she’s already named two as her executor and health care proxy, so I’m not leaving her alone and without any help. Both my parents are in good health, so I don’t fear something happening to them while I’m gone.

We have decisions to make that you can count on someone else not liking, but my mom’s right – you have to do what makes you happy. I don’t want to find at the end of my life I have a bucket full of regrets, and so few accomplished dreams. I have no husband or children to speak of; that gives me time to take care of others who are worse off than I am.

When you decide to tell your parents, don’t expect them to embrace the idea right off the bat. Any time you tell them you’re moving a little bit further away, be understanding to the fact you will break their hearts. Time may heal all wounds, but expecting a ticker tape parade after a bombshell like this isn’t going to happen. My advice is to ask for their blessing, and then let it fly. As time goes on, they will have to accept your choice, and you will have to find the strength to take your dream to the next level.

If you don’t like trying to find all the segments of this series, you can locate the links to them here and they will return you the exact spot on the socyberty.com site.

quazen.com articles by this writer can be found here

socyberty.com articles can be located here

relijournal.com articles are here

picable.com photographic images are here