Stop Signing Petitions

I have been asked to sign many petitions in my life. I’ve signed petitions for gay rights, to stop wars, to free Tibet, to stop the cutting down of rain forests, to stop Internet censors, to save net neutrality and possibly even one to ask God to stop making bad things happen. Yes sir, I’ve signed a lot of petitions in my time and I’m still getting asked to sign them.

Yet I can really only think of one of those petitions, that I mentioned, that have gotten anywhere and done any good. However it took millions of people signing it in a verifiable way and it also took millions more people who didn’t sign it to view the same opinion and voice it loudly. After all that, do you know what happened? The government decided to review it’s plans and come up with its solution 2.0 – Not exactly what we wanted with that petition.

Now in the history of the world and our society, only a handful of petitions will have done any good compared the the number of petitions that people have made and got signed. At a school I went to there were a few petitions. One was to get rid of uniforms (done by yours truly) and one to change the tuck-shop* menu to all health food. Neither petitions achieved anything and the anti-uniformity petition was stopped out-right by school authorities from going any further. Take that, freedom!

A new idea is an Internet petition. Now it sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it? The Internet can get lots more people to sign or. Unfortunately they’re very rarely verifiable and let’s face it, they don’t work. No one takes them seriously and no government or otherwise authoritative body is going to pay any attention to them. In history’s handful of successful petitions, only a handful of those have been Internet petitions and the ratio of success to failure may even be bigger than petitions on paper. Let me also point out, once again, that the petition alone has never been enough and hasn’t even been the catalyst to change.

Ultimately, petitions just don’t work. Stop signing them. Do you know what petitions are good for? Well first of all they’re a good way to waste a lot of paper. Secondly petitions are good for people who want to feel like they’ve made a change without making any effort. Petitions are the lazy man’s answer to activism. With the flick of the wrist any SOB can put their signature and then pat themselves on the back because they’re helping to save the world. Stop that. Just stop that right now.

Listen up, people. You need to either stop pretending you give a shit or get the hell off your arse and actually do something. Do you want to stop deforesting? Then go to the forests and stand right there in front of the bulldozers and chain saws. Hell, set the bitches on fire before they even get to the forests to begin their work. That will make a difference! That will slow them down! That will make a point! That will show the world that you’re not going to take any of this crap! Oh but that’s right, you want to be home in time for dinner, don’t you? You couldn’t possibly miss your nightly dose of ‘Deal or No Deal’, could you? Well then don’t even pretend you care.

There is no easy, tax deductible and effortless way that you can make a change or save the world. Get out there and make a point and make it loudly. Stop signing petitions and if you don’t like something, let everyone really know! You’ve got vocal chords, now start screaming until they bleed!