Jennifer Anniston recently announced that to help the environment she only takes three minute showers.  While she is in the shower she also brushes her teeth to help save water.  According to her the amount of water used in a three minute shower is the total amount of water some people have to do everything they need an entire day.  I think we should all commend Jennifer on her selfless actions to help save the planet and raise awareness.  How many of us could actually make due with a three minute shower?  I cannot imagine that I could successfully scrub off my daily funk in that amount of time, much less trying to coordinate washing my butt and brush my teeth in the same three minute time frame.  Not that I would ever doubt MS. Anniston, if she says she takes three minute showers, then I believe her.  I think more celebrities should follow her lead.

However the article does not mention how many three minute showers she takes each day.  If she doesn’t get clean enough does she take a second or third in a row?  Does she limit herself to one shower regardless of how active she is or how dirty she gets?  Would 20 three minute showers save more water and energy than one or two 15-30 minute showers?  Still I applaud her for her effort and would like to offer some more hygiene suggestions, for her and other Hollywood conservationists, that might help save the planet.  If not then they can feel better about themselves for trying.  Isn’t that what “going green” is really all about anyway?  Feeling better about ourselves and the way we live?  Hey the ozone layer is gone but I did my part.  I bought a hybrid!  Now let us go on to the suggestions.

Since Jenn is not in the shower long enough to really enjoy it, why doesn’t she start taking only cold showers?  The energy savings might be minimal but every little bit helps.  Plus brushing her teeth and rinsing in cold water has to be more pleasant than in hot water.  A cold shower would also encourage her to not overstay her three minute limit.  She would likely be much more vigorous in her scrubbing to keep her body temperature up, thus insuring she cleans herself properly.

I admit that brushing her teeth in the shower does save a small amount of water.  It is a great little idea to make a small impact.  How much more water could she save is she made it a habit to regularly pee in the shower?  If she showers often she would have plenty of opportunities for pee pee time.  Depending on the type of toilet she uses, she could use up to 1.6 gallons of water per flush.  That is a lot of water for a little urine.  Sure you can save all your daily deposits and flush once at the end of the day but do you really want a pot o’piss sitting in your Hollywood home?  What if Courtney Cox and David Arquette popped over?  How embarrassing!  Urinating in the shower would also save a little toilet paper, thus saving trees.  No need to wipe just let your three minute ration was your “cares” away and then just towel off.

If she is willing to start peeing in the shower why not experiment with shower pooping?  Now a good solid movement is not going to just wash down the drain, but with her figure she probably eats a lot of fiber and drinks lots of liquids.  A slight adjustment to her diet and most of her poo will just wash on down.  Left over BM that cannot be forced down the drain can be scooped up into the toilet or even a trash can.  On days when she is really “loose” she could probably save a flush or two a day and at the very least she is saving on toilet paper.  Who needs TP when you can just bend and spread’em while brushing those pearly whites.  The trees will thank you.

In three minutes there is probably no time for her to shave in the shower.  I would think it might be slightly dangerous even with the safest razor, trying to shave your legs, arm pits, and other areas in that time.  I am sure that when she shaves she is very Earth conscious and uses as little water as possible.  Still the act of shaving does require some amount of water and produces a product, hair, that has to be discarded.  hair is biodegradable but it does take up space in septic systems or landfills for some amount of time.  Plus thing of the chemicals involved such as shaving cream and after shave.  Wouldn’t it be more eco-friendly to just stop shaving?  This might require an extra three minute shower and a bit more deodorant but really as beautiful as Jennifer is, would anyone really care if she smelled a bit?  Besides the French look is very popular.  At least it is in France, and primate Valley at the local zoo.

If she could manage to stop shaving that would mean less water usage, less chemicals in the septic system and landfills and hair would no longer have to be filtered out at water treatment plants.  Less chemicals would be available to get into the water supply thus helping again with water conservation. There is an added benefit to mankind without shaving as well.  She could let her hair grow for several months then when her armpit hair is long enough clip it very short.  Then donate the cut hair to locks of love, which provides wigs made of real hair to cancer patients who have lost their own hair due to treatments.  Who wouldn’t feel lucky having a wig made from Jennifer Anniston’s own hair.  The fact that it is arm pit hair is besides the point.  If she let her pubic hair grow out long enough, she could someday make a little curly haired cancer patient very happy.

Well maybe my ideas will never catch on with Jennifer Anniston or other Hollywood celebs.  I’m just thinking outside the box and trying to save the planet, nothing wrong with that.  Still I really, really do have to give Jennifer props not only for caring and sacraficing her personal enjoyment, but also for raising awareness about water shortages around the world.  Hopefully I have helped raise some awareness or at least made you giggle.