10 Common Courtesies That Aren’t

How to become more courteous

Pay attention! Notice what is happening around you. Try to see how you fit into the scenery and what you can do to make someone else’s path a little easier. It often doesn’t take much. Here are some common situations that call for common courtesies.

Avoid Being a Roadblock

• If your shopping cart is blocking the aisle, move it. Sure, the extra stacks of canned goods should never have been placed in the aisle, but that’s not the other customer’s fault any more than it is yours.
• If your child is plugging up the escalator because he’s too afraid to get on, pull him aside and let him try again when there’s nobody else trying to use it
• When there’s a line of cars waiting at the gas pump, be efficient. Wash your windshield at the same time the gas is being pumped. When you’re done, get out of the way as quickly as you can. Just because you had to wait your turn, doesn’t make it OK for you to mosey up to the cashier and chat about the weather as if no one else matters.

Lend a Helping Hand

• Hold the door open for the next guy. If your hands are full, prop the door open with your foot.
• On the elevator, ask those getting on if they’d like you to push their floor’s button
• If you are tall enough to reach an item on the top shelf at the grocery store and a diminutive old woman is precariously perched on the bottom rack of her shopping cart trying to get something down, ask her if you could be of service

Assume the Best

• Most actions that may seem to you like a blatant disregard for your well-being are unintentional. Be gracious. Assume the best.
• Ignorance or oversight by another does not really deserve rude gestures, cursing or malicious revenge. Not everyone is as perfect as you might like to think you are. And it doesn’t help your blood pressure any when you get steamed up or tied up in knots.

Help by Not Helping

• Some situations call for carefully placed help. If a child is lost, it may be better to watch over the child rather than leading him by the hand to the checkout or asking him his name. Children are taught (or should be) not to talk to strangers and you are one. Wait until the child’s parent shows up. You’ll know the right person when the child sees him.
• What might seem like a nice gesture could have negative consequences for you. Don’t offer a ride to a child unless you have an agreement with her parents to do so.

Be Neighborly

• Being neighborly is more than ordinary courtesy. It is fostering a good relationship that can have far-reaching benefits for both families.
• Keep your children and dogs off the neighbor’s grass
• If your neighbor is ill, old or injured, help him with the basics. Shovel the snow from his walk. Mow the extra strip of grass between your yard and his driveway. Take his trash bin to the curb.
• If you have extra cookies or cupcakes, share some

6. Foster Children

• Teach your children not to touch anyone else’s dogs or babies without first asking permission. They should also be taught not to mess with anyone else’s cars, motorcycles or boats.
• If an enterprising kid in the neighborhood has set up a lemonade stand, why not buy some? She might just be the kid you want to ask to take care of your pet when you go on vacation

Give the Other Guy a Break

• If traffic has backed up and the guy behind you is left hanging out in an intersection or stuck on a railroad track, instead of relishing his predicament and admonishing him for being such an idiot, pull forward and give him a break. You might just save his life. Besides, next time you might be the idiot…
• If you come upon some poor guy trying to make a left turn onto the busy street you’re on and traffic is stopping ahead of you, leave a gap so he can get through

Where Belongings Belong

• It’s simple – put things where they belong. If you use something, put it back just the way you found it when you’re finished.
• If you borrow something, return it in a condition that is at least as good as when you borrowed it. If you use someone else’s truck, put gas in it before returning it. If you can afford to, fill it all the way up.
• If you had to open a gate to get in, close the gate behind you
• Unless you are in your own home, leave the thermostat alone
• At the fast food restaurant, dump your trash in the garbage and return the tray

Show Your Appreciation

• If someone does something courteous to you, acknowledge it with a thank-you, a nod, a smile or a wave
• Give a compliment if it’s warranted

Keep it Down

• If people around you are trying to hear something – a lecturer, a movie, an announcement, or the like, be quiet. If you must speak, keep your voice down.
• Take your phone conversation some place out of the way. If a stranger happens to think you are talking to them when you are on your cell phone, don’t glare at them like they are idiots. Smile apologetically. You are the odd man out.

General information

We’re all different. It isn’t possible to know exactly how someone else will react to your overtures. Occasionally you’ll get a nasty response when you’re trying to be courteous. These situations are unfortunate and can be a temptation to stop being polite. Try not to let it get you down. Go on being courteous. And, if it makes sense to do so, offer your help next time by asking first if the other person wants it. Most people will appreciate your efforts.

It usually doesn’t take much to make life a little easier for the other guy. If you can do so without sacrificing your own happiness or dignity, then why not? Trust me, the paybacks are well worth the extra effort, and the world will be a nicer place for it.