Thank you for you kind comments. I always tell others to give themselves permission. By that I mean that adults need to learn to give themselves permission to be who they want to be, to pamper themselves and treat themselves as they would a best friend.

When you embrace permission, it’s incredibly liberating.

All too often, we carry around guilt that prevents us from liberating ourselves. For example, have you ever rested and felt guilty for taking the time? This results from childhood programming that convinces us we are lazy if we “sit and dawdle.”

Here’s another example: A person decides not to get dressed, spending the day a housecoat, but feels guilty and thinks that if someone knocks on the door he/she will have to hide. Why?? Early programming. If someone comes to the door and finds someone else in a housecoat, will the world come to an end? Nope.

I’ll share a little of what happened to me. Certain family members discouraged me from writing and intimated that I had my head in the clouds, that to be published was near impossible.

I thought: the only crime would be in not trying. 12 years later, I’m published, have won numerous awards, and am doing the one thing that brings me the most satisfaction.

If I never get wealthy, it doesn’t matter. Again, it depends on how you measure success.

I talked to an adult education teacher and she observed that she spent most of her time trying to undo negative programming her students had been subjected to while growing up. She said she repeatedly heard remarks, such as: “I’ll never get this; I can’t do it, I’m not smart enough.” Or she had to overecome black/white type thinking: “That’s it! I give up.”

She said that first she had to help them to adopt realistic thinking patterns and to change the way they approached challenges before they could tackle learning.

I helped one man who was trying to get his high school diploma. He had ADHD and he was about to throw in the towel. I asked him: “If you give up on this, don’t you think you’ll be creating a pattern of failure? Do you think that it will be easier to fail again, in future? How do you think you will feel when you look back on this experience? Will you feel good about it? What about, instead, you decide that you will adopt a strategy to work around the ADHD, something that helps you to remember your school work–and create a pattern of success? If you cross the finish line, imagine how awesome you will feel, knowing you didn’t give up. If you are successful with this, you will feel more confident in tackling something else.”

He thought over what I had said and devised a plan to help him to remember. He finished his Grade 12, got top marks, and ended up taking other courses and teaching at the local trade school. He is now back in school taking another course and is working regularly.

I think he has created a pattern of success that will impact on the rest of his life.