10 Signs You Talk Too Much

Consciously try to spend equal amounts of time listening and talking in conversations. With more than one person in a conversation, try to see that each person gets the same amount of talking time and listens when it’s somebody else’s turn (in this case it means more listening time, less talking time). Yes, there are stories just as interesting as yours and people just as experienced as you who deserve their chance to talk, too. So admit it and let everybody get their fair chance in the spotlight, including yourself – but not exclusively.

As you leave a conversation/social event you believe to be a success, think through and try to remember stories and interesting information from your fellow participants. If you can’t think of much – or anything you learned from socializing – it probably was not a successful conversation because you either were the only one talking (thus your audience got a lecture) or you ignored the others during their turn to speak. Both of these scenarios are social/communicational no-no’s. Evaluate the problem and try to fix it the next time.

Never interrupt when another person is talking. Let them finish their piece – listen to what they have to say. Evaluate whatever it is that you are so anxious to say by asking yourself whether you would want to listen to it yourself. Work on subduing your impatience to talk by avoiding interrupting others. Interrupting is a habit which implies to others that you are arrogant – in other words, you believe that what you have to say is far more worthwhile and important for others to hear than for you to hear what they have to say/for them to finish their stories.

Evaluate what you have to say (at all times) before saying it, to determine whether it really is important/interesting enough to warrant making your audience listen to it. If not, don’t say it, and if it is and you haven’t talked too much already, go ahead and say it. Avoid unimportant details and tangents: for example, if you’re telling about how you rescued a cat from a tree, is it really necessary to describe the appearances of the leaves or exactly what it was that you saw your neighbor doing and what you thought of it? Telling boring stories/giving uninteresting/obvious information says to others that you are self-centered and just love to hear the sound of your own voice. Improve your listening skills: start by trying to remember one important bit of information told by each person in a conversation.

When you ask a question, give the person a chance to answer it. Don’t go into an extra-detailed explanation of it (unless necessary or asked for). Don’t ask a question just to give yourself an opening (when asked why you asked the question) into the “speaking” section of a conversation and be the center of attention.

If you really want to communicate everything that comes to mind, write it down (I keep a diary), especially in the case of opinions. This way you have the freedom to speak your mind and your audience has the freedom to choose whether/not to read it, and can do so at their leisure.

Practicing suggestions should make you and your friends, family, and acquaintances much happier and help you to form better relationships.