10 Tips for Better Interpersonal Communication

1. Think Before You Speak

You can’t expect to communicate in a clear manner if your thoughts come out in a disorganized manner.

Outline your thoughts in your own mind before letting it out. Remember, you can’t erase words once they’re out of your mouth.

2. Put Things in Logical Order

When things are disorganized, people become confused and disinterested. Make sure that your thoughts are structured and organized before you communicate them.

3. Use Your Past Experience

Each individual has his or her style of communication. We need to learn from paste experiences in order to communicate more effectively. Stop to think: “What have I learned previously that will help me communicate more effectively this time around?”

4. Try and Catch People in a Frame of Mind to listen

An individual who is worried, angry or is preoccupied won’t “Hear” you any better than if you were talking next to a very noisy machine. This acts as a barrier which impedes effective communication.

My post about Understanding the Communication Process elaborates on this point further. It talks about the communication process and the noise that distorts the message.

5. Arouse Interest in the Other Individual

A person’s attention is like money. He will only give it to you if he expects to get something worthwhile in return. To get someone to listen, you will have to motivate him just as you would to get him to do anything else. The post Arouse in the Other Person an Eager Want elaborates more about this important point.

6. Find Common Ground

If you want somebody to agree with you, or even to listen to you, try to imagine how he or she feels about this topic and take his viewpoint into account.

7. Talk to him in his Language

If you tried to describe the color “green” to a color-blind man, you wouldn’t get very far. We frequently make the same mistake either by using unfamiliar words, or by assuming that the other person has the same ideas or interests as ours. Hence, “tailoring” your language, words and ideas for the audience is very important for effective interpersonal communication.

8. Emotions Mean as Much as Facts

People not only think with their brains, but with their personalities. Fear, anger, suspicion and a lot of other undesirable emotions can be aroused by what you say.

9. Discretion Plays a Part

A good communicator doesn’t rebroadcast everything he hears. People will only tell you things you should know if they’re sure it won’t get them into trouble. Before you repeat something, do consider the possible effects.

10. Too much is as bad as too little

Minds are like stomachs. They can only hold and digest a certain amount at a time. When you have a lot to say, see if it can be broken up into parts. Or maybe put the details into writing for future reference.

Remember, the points stipulated above are not hard and fast rules. You have to keep in mind that you are communicating with real life people; people who do not act according to established rules and may act and think irrationally at times. For more information about better interpersonal communication skills, you can refer to established resources such as The Better Interpersonal Communication Blog.