101 Things to Do When You’re Overcome with Sheer Boredom

You know those times when you just think to yourself, “oh god I’m so bored I could just sit here and die!”? If you have… You’re emo, congratulations! No. When you are so bored you’ve been paralysed by it. Read these and have a laugh or you know, do one of them. If you wish. (Just saying, not all of them will be strictly safe, and if you get injured, you do so at your own risk, and your own idiocy. If you can’t tell which ones will be dangerous, then you deserve the up and coming injury.)

1. Play a game, it’s perfectly legitimate and an option open to most people.
2. Have a strange conversation with yourself “Hey person who is actually me, how are you?” “Why are you asking, you are me.” “stop with your negative attitude persona 2!” “Why am I number 2? I’m the great one!” You catch my drift.
3. Listen to music, the obvious ones are usually the most overlooked for some reason, I’m listening to some prodigy right now.
4. Go outside, nothing to it, just open the door and walk, the sun will burn for moments and that’s it.
5. Groom yourself.
6. Walk around and make “vrrroooom” noises and “sqqquuuueeeeak” when you are turning. Also see how  realistic you can do it, change gear, slow down to go round corners, etc.
7. Growl at people in the street.
8. Invent something that has no logical or physical possibility and suggest it with a mumbo jumbo scientific explanation to friends and tell them how it could change the modern world.
9. On a really sunny day, sing “raindrops keep falling on my head”.
10. Find something and turn it into a fad.
11. Learn an instrument.
12. Pick your nose.
13. Pick your friends nose.
14. Try and translate Kurt Cobain in “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.
15. Do your work instead of reading this and slacking off! Yes I get your game!
16. Go on a shopping spree buying useless crap on the Internet. It’s easily done. I do it constantly.
17. Learn from your mistakes.
18. Think of ways to prove or disprove the existence of god.
19. Get your friends to say that they are gay with double negatives.
20. Offend someone over the Internet.
21. Go on Youtube.
22. Go on Myspace.
23. Go on Facebook.
24. Go on a website of some kind.
25. Watch people from your window and make up stories for them.
26. Watch TV.
27. Make up imaginary friends and sell them on the Internet.
28. Pour salt on your wounds.
29. Find things you can improve on yourself, like losing a bit of weight, chubby!
30. Email me complaining about my un-funnyness and me insulting your weight, tell me how it’s in your genetics.
31. Talk like Marlon Brando, say to people “I’m gonna make ya an offer, you can’t refuse”.
32. Visit your family.
33. Bid in an auction and run when you win.
34. Do the above on ebay.
35. Eat Bart Simpsons shorts, he keeps asking but no one complies do it out of the goodness in your heart, or be a big meanie and refuse like all the others!
36. Write a story.
37. Deduct which of these ideas are serious or are feeble attempts at humor.
38. Call a girl you like a big fat whore, she will respect you for it.
39. Become an entrepreneur.
40. Give to charity.
41. Wonder how I am thinking of these, because I am.
42. Pretend it’s world war III, and ration your food.
43. Eat your newly rationed food.
44. Jog to lose your newly gained weight.
45. Jog some more to lose all of your unnecessary weight.
46. Insult people you don’t know.
47. Spread rumors.
48. Watch Goodfellas.
49. Give me some ideas, because I sure am running out of them.
50. Make a website.
51. Make a living off of the Internet.
52. Write a list of stuff to do when you’re bored, it works believe me.
53. Pretend you’re a superhero with the power of deafness.
54. Try and manipulate what people say with your own knowledge of them and making certain sentences to get a certain reply.
55. Email someone and say how you are desperately in love with their cat. Tell them that you will marry the cat in Sweden, because anything goes in Sweden.
56. Learn to make an origami bird.
57. Think about something to do, because if you’re this far in the list, the other stuff hasn’t worked
58. Spin around in a chair and sing “Right Round”.
59. Write a poem.
60. Write a song.
61. Send me the song, so I can add it to one of my instrumentals, I can’t be arsed to write lyrics.
62. Decipher hieroglyphics.
63. See how long you can hold your breathe.
64. See how long you can hold a note.
65. Do something interesting.
66. Get drunk.
67. Try to walk on a curb without touching the path or the road.
68. Think of ways to say you’re awesome without seeming egotistical.
69. Tell everybody you know how much Twilight sucks, both the book and the film.
70. Explain how it has a nonsensical story filled with plotholes, bland characters and turns vampires into complete and utter jokes from when they used to be awesome.
71. See how much marshmellows you can fit into your mouth.
72. Take a class something you enjoy and find interesting.
73. Better yourself in some way.
74. Make something you do more efficient somehow.
75. Make a friend.
76. Give me some ideas for this list.
77. Come to decide, that the things that I tried were in my life to just get high on.
78. Realize that the above “idea” is a quote from a song, I’ll give you a clue, I’m listening to it. What do you mean that’s not a clue, shut up.
79. Give something new a try.
80. Become a youtube partner.
81. Nostalgia over something you loved as a kid.
82. Eat chocolate infront of someone on a diet and pretend like it’s the best thing you’ve ever eaten.
83. Think about how many of these were just fillers and insulting.
84. Call your dog syndrome, and tell it to get down.
85. Play Air Guitar.
86. You know you want to.
87. Think how much Seth Macfarlane should be shot.
88. Examine your surroundings thouroughly.
89. Close your eyes and walk around the house to get a feel of being blind.
90. Read a book.
91. Keep up a ball with a tennis racket.
92. Do tricks with the ball and tennis racket.
93. Wear a tennis racket on your ears and say you’re “racket earing”.
94. Tell people who are making decisions to “think of the children!”
95. At midnight shout out of your window “Morning world!”
96. Argue with people about stuff you know nothing about.
97. Ponder about the world.
98. Wonder why I have stopped trying to be funny.
99. Upload a video to youtube.
100. Tell your friends to go to “meatspin.com”.
101. Masturbate, didn’t expect that one did you? No, you didn’t.