A Commentary on My Life, Questioning The Paths

      My name is Dave, and about a year ago I was medically retired from the Army after 9 years and 2 downrange tours, I came to Germany at the beginning of my career and just haven’t left. I met a good wifey here and have an awesome kid who is my world, as of late things have gotten very hard for me as I am sure they have for everyone, you see I have severe nerve damage on my left side and a spinal cord stimulator implanted in my back, for that I am bound to a cane ( sometimes 2 at a time ) and I am not really able to do much anymore and to be honest I just need an outlet to express my opinions, my passions in life and also maybe try and help other people out there who may have also been railroaded by the system. Don’t get me wrong I loved my time in the Army and I wouldn’t change a minute of it but the VA ( Veterans administration ) needs a lot of work, for example it took more than 13 months to process my claim and lets just say the outcome was not what I was expecting. None the less this is about deeper meaning of why rather then a slam session on the system, but I thought for anyone to understand the following you may have needed a bit of back story, hence the introduction.

     So this is is all really just a response to that question I asked someone recently, and the answer I was given. I was just wondering what I did that the world has been raining poop all over me for 4 years now, to this I was answered maybe it’s what you haven’t done, give your life to God. Now this came from my best friend who knows me, I don’t feel that putting your problems into the hands of an imaginary man in the sky who can affect everything but does nothing while getting credit for all is the way to go for me. Just how I feel, but it bothered me that at my lowest point is when I would be expected to do so, If I did how would that be sincere to the ears of a deity if one exists. My whole life I have felt that it’s choice and experience that drive our lives not an absent all powerful father figure from a another plane of existence. But now at my weakest now I’m ready to follow, just like that forget the last 27 years god, now I see you, now fix me. But that’s what zealots want they want you to give your life over to god at your weakest and why would a strong powerful God and religion want all the weak and downtrodden to follow and give our lives over to them, hmmmmmmmmmmm I wonder would it be that because the weak are easily lead and controlled. Which is why the word faith was invented because if you take everything on faith by definition alone you don’t need a real understanding, because you just have faith and you just ….KNOW right. If we had a real understanding of religion of all the stories that religion gives us all the things we can’t see and touch or understand, then we could grow stronger and the strong are not controlled as easy and there would collapse the whole damn system, Through understanding and experience do we grow. But this is just how I feel and why I was so mad and insulted at the idea of just giving my life to god. OK, I needed to get that out, I sorry guys, I ‘m sure I look like an ass now but hey as I said at the jump, I guess that’s what I am, peace eye listeners. Sorry again for the raw grammar and spelling in the blog, I’m just typing and letting it go.