Accountable
by When you have to face the facts.
In the heat of the night as I lay in my nakedness, my mind thinks about you, and where we are as a couple. Then I reflect on previous conversations held; remember, you were the one who didn’t want to define our relationship, “let’s just be friends”. Through my pain and disappointment I try to let go. I allow myself the amusement of feeding my starving ego at the whim of another who wants to be in that important spot held by you, yet unappreciated. My love didn’t fit the timetable of your chaos, but secretly you yearn for the tenderness I offered and secretly wished it was from the one who damaged your love. Confused, while yet needing to be held, caressed, and protected from the emotional sadness that has gripped your soul in bondage, you turn to me. No longer am I willing to watch you cry in agony, desperate for a solution, where there seems to be none. I find myself tormented in my own struggles to be there for you…knowing my place is on the back burner of your heart. Just once I would like to be considered first. I’ve been told that when people interact, it’s considered a type of relationship. Why has Webster, Random House or any dictionary for that matter led me to believe that I was in a relationship? Why didn’t I look up the word foolish instead? That’s how I feel. I decide to dry my own tears, and speak wisdom into my… lonely soul. Learn to love yourself first, so you will appreciate the love of another. It’s time to venture out, no longer a prisoner to your thoughts, and settling for second place. Realize that if together isn’t so good then being alone can’t be too bad. It’s time to be accountable.
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Post CommentCHAN LEE PENG
On December 8, 2009 at 9:24 am
When one has to face the fact, they should calm their mind down to think of practical ways to deal with the problem.
Paul Roberts
On December 8, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Well done here my friend. The emotions well presented and not too inflamed. Some do not have the ability to express their feelings as well as here although we all have been there. Fan, Friend, smile
LoveDoctorGoodBye
On December 8, 2009 at 12:50 pm
Well-done my friend. This is awesome and describes exactly word by word what I went through in my last relationship. That’s right. Love yourself first and it’s better to be alone than with someone who doesn’t appreciate you.
mkd1788
On December 8, 2009 at 1:22 pm
greatly expressed…good work
Sharif Ishnin
On December 8, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Really well expressed. I can feel the hope;) and then the disappointment.;( . Well done.
CA Johnson
On December 8, 2009 at 3:46 pm
This is really good. We should love ourselves first before we can love others.
Jenny Heart
On December 8, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Great one!
Carmita
On December 8, 2009 at 4:49 pm
You depict clearly emotions that we all have went through at sometime or another, but through your dissapointments I see hope. A good expression of accountability.
Atanacio
On December 8, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Very well written
Frances Lawrence
On December 8, 2009 at 7:38 pm
A very strong piece of writing.
jimbob1
On December 9, 2009 at 1:16 am
Hey T…That is a very moving and revealing article about some deep and painful personal experiences. Thanks for sharing this well written article.
OnlineAnalyst
On December 9, 2009 at 2:53 am
A very touching post, I feel before being in any relationship it is utmost important to evaluate whether it gives the freedom and self-respect or not.Thanks for a truly class writing as always from you.
traetrae
On December 15, 2009 at 1:55 am
I hate being accountable, but that’s because I have serious issues. I am a free spirit that just feels like we should accept people as they are and if that is my shortcoming; love me as I am because you are sure to have other issues, but it may not be an accountability issues.
deklin42
On December 18, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Very well expressed.
wonder
On December 22, 2009 at 8:06 am
A touching piece of writing.
deep blue
On January 2, 2010 at 12:42 pm
I agree with Chan, we have to be practical in life. Well written thoughts.
sweetievee
On January 11, 2010 at 3:41 pm
I like this line (and know it all too well) : “My love didn’t fit the timetable of your chaos, but secretly you yearn for the tenderness I offered and secretly wished it was from the one who damaged your love.”
I am me, and not a replacement for anyone else. Both I and my love are unique. I learned not to settle for less, and pretty soon I didn’t have to settle for less. I have the best from someone and “I am my lover’s and he is mine.”
Night Story
On February 2, 2010 at 2:48 am
This is very good.
nutmegeyes
On February 16, 2010 at 2:27 am
What a strong piece and thought provoking, this was deep and a really good piece.
clickmarbin
On February 16, 2010 at 7:51 pm
wow you are really an exceptional writer my friend =)
yes me
On February 17, 2010 at 6:04 pm
Wow great post terry…. I had to read it twice
Great write the,First line the same as that great, song great Movie great actor too, big Sydney. ‘ In the heat of the night’ the Imagery. of that line set the pace for me…. loved it Terry