Advice

Question: I am a 28 yr old woman that has been out of the dating scene for a while. I have me someone and I am not sure what to do. I have been hurt and abused in many ways and I am scared to open up to someone. Please help!

Advice: I understand your fears and you are right not to jump into a relationship. If you are just at the dating stage, there is nothing wrong with going out once or twice and see what he is like. Pay close attention to mannerisms, personality and question any red flags. Now I said question them, not shut him down completely unless he comes out and says “I’m a player or a killer” OK, that is extreme but you get my point.

If this is something that has gone beyond a few dates and you may be talking about going to the next level that is another thing. Obviously there were no red flags and you are feeling somewhat comfortable with him, right? If not, you need to step back and tell him you want to see where you are right now. If you are feeling like “OK, maybe I can see myself having a relationship with this person; but I am afraid. Evaluate you first, remember this person is not your ex and you can not hold them accountable for what you have been through in your life. Talk to them and let that person know that you want this to be something but “let’s take it slow and see where this goes. If this person is really into you and wants what you want, they will respect you decision. If not, I would back off.