What makes control freaks tick and how you can handle them.
Do you know someone who flips out if you spill something?Is there someone in your life who takes credit for your successes?Is there someone who is constantly telling you how to do everything?Do you know someone who constantly invades your privacy?
Do you know someone who will keep a long argument going with you because they may be wrong?
Control freaks, we have all met them, and some of us are unfortunate enough to have to live with some of them. In this article, I am hoping to help those of you who have them in your life, learn how to deal with them and keep control in your own life without letting them take over. The other purpose of this article, is to find out if you are a control freak, and how to get a grip.
Now, it is only natural to want be in control of your own life, but when you feel you have to have control of everyone else’s life, you have a problem. These are the key aspects of a Control Freak. They have a driving need to create your agenda, they insist on controlling all their interactions with you, basically, they have to run the show and call they shot – OR ELSE.
Phsycologists call this a personality disorder, and all though you might not find a specific disease named for these poor freaks, their characteristics can often be found in perfectionists and workaholics, and it is considered to be an Obessesive Compulsive Disorder. They have an inability to trust or make commitments because they fear that someone might notice they are not perfect.
Helpful hint: To anyone afraid someone will notice their flaws, NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE is perfect! And that includes YOU!
Control freaks ultimate fear is that if they lose control of themselves, their relationships, or anything or anyone around them, that they will be vulnerable. They believe that they can protect themselves if they have this control. They feel the urge to control to new heights, and when they have finally caused the people they are trying to control the stress that they are feeling, they feel a sense of order. These people are riddled with fear, anxiety, insecurity, and anger to amounts at which they cannot control. Underneath that controlled attitude is a mountain of unhappiness and depression.
What makes a Control Freak Tick?
It has been found, that the main need to control is driven by anxiety, though a Control Freak would never recognize this, and even if they did, they would deny it. At work, they worry about failure. In their relationship they dread that they will not have their needs met, or that they will not be good enough. In order to keep this anxiety from overwhelming them, they feel they only way to avoid feeling those emotions is to control the people or things around them. They have a harder time than most normal people when it comes to negotiating or compromising, because it would mean they would have to give up some of their control, and it would also implicate that they are not perfect, and Control Freaks H-A-T-E imperfection. If you can’t tell, or don’t know already, this can make them hard to live with. Whether you are working with them, living with them, or just plain stuck in a circle that involves them.