August Ms. Know-it-All Column
by My priceless advice – no one pays me for it.
Dear Ms Know-it-all, I have a question (Okay, not really a question as much as a joke.) (Well, not a joke either but “Material” for a comedy routine actually.) (Okay, it could be a routine if it is funny enough) Anyway, I was wondering how many parenthesises (That is plural for parenthesis) can one use in a sentence? Signed, Me (Lisa)
Dear (Lisa) Ms Know-it-all is firmly convinced that once is enough. This however is more of a personal than a grammatical conviction. When writing “parenthesisesesesssss” Ms Know-it-all never seems to know where to stop. Same with ellipsisisisisis…
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/parenthesises
Dear Ms Know-it-all, Why is it when I call a business and get an automated answer, it says to “Please stay on the line”? I have a cordless phone. Signed, In Line Limbo
Dear Limbo, Ms Know-it-all fails to understand what your problem is. Any time she gets that message she is left waiting for her party far long enough to find a line to get on…and having a cordless phone simplifies it even more. She can carry the phone with her until a human being speaks from it.
Dear Ms Know-it-all, What happened to the wind wings we used to have on the front seat side windows of cars? I mean, they worked great for several reasons…getting a wonderful blast of fresh air while traveling down the highway or saving us from calling AAA to get our keys out of a locked car. So why are they gone? Signed, Know-Nothing
Dear Knowing, If you are old enough to remember wind wings, you know more than you think. The Big Three Auto dudes quit making them in the 70s with the exception of the big Ford F150 truck that lasted until 1998. Why did they quit making them? Ms Know-it-all believes that since no one complained about them, the manufacturers probably believed no one noticed them and replaced them with something that would be noticed…i.e. something that did not work. Another strong possibility is the hefty kickbacks the auto dudes got from the AAA and the car air conditioning dudes to discontinue them.
Dear Ms Know-it-all, I read that your area got an earthquake a couple of weeks ago…AGAIN! How do you stand living in such an unstable area? Signed, Shaky
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Post CommentJenny Heart
On August 2, 2009 at 8:48 am
You have an extrordinary idea hear. May I call you Ann landers. Like this idea of yours a lot. Very creative idea. More!
Christine Ramsay
On August 2, 2009 at 3:13 pm
A very original post. I enjoyed it.
Christine
ladybaby
On August 2, 2009 at 6:59 pm
More, More! Can we ask questions on your comments?
NA Staffieri
On August 3, 2009 at 9:57 pm
You are indeed wise, Ms. Know-It-All. But then again, you knew that.
iamrulan
On August 5, 2009 at 9:21 pm
oh, please do…be advised, I will use them in my column. LOL
Carl Megill
On August 6, 2009 at 11:16 am
Dear Ms. Know-It-All: If they have pictures of missing children on cartons of milk, why don’t they have pictures of missing transvestites on cartons of half and half?
iamrulan
On August 7, 2009 at 2:02 pm
Oh Carl! This is great. I can hardly wait. I hope you approved the Crouton reply?