Building Self-Esteem

How many of us have encountered a devastating loss – - whether it was a job loss, a death, or a relationship? How does one find healing and rebuild one’s self -esteem? First of all, we need to look within ourselves because the answers are there. Believing in a higher power is also very helpful. Our inner voice and our higher power will guide us during this very difficult time.

            One of the reasons why we find it so painful after suffering from a loss is because we wrap our complete identities in only one venue to validate who we are and to express ourselves. We have all come into existence to find meaning and value. Many of us – - especially women – - find value in relationships, particularly in a romantic relationship. Relationships are vital to our beings, however, when we focus particularly on just one domain of confirming who we are, then we are “putting all our eggs in one basket.” Whether that basket is a job, relationship, children, etc. we lose ourselves.

            One way to heal is to first let go so that we can begin anew. Although letting go is painful, it is also healing. As we linger and hold onto that which is no longer healthy to us, it impedes our process of self-growth and betterment. Letting go is also about loving one-self. It is no way an act of selfishness – - especially when it involves a relationship.  Letting go of someone also means loving that person.

            We are much more complex than what we focus our self-esteem on. We are multi-faceted beings, and we play many roles. Shakespeare wrote in the play As You Like It, “All the world’s a stage, and the men and women merely players.” We all play and fulfill a purpose here on Earth.

            Our intuition will guide us – - giving us strength and courage to continue and to go on.  Once we realize we are strong, we can find out who we really are.

            As painful as it may be, we also embark on a new journey of discovering our identities. Growing as a person is a painful but necessary process. What makes our souls come alive? Is there a skill that we possess which we can make use of? We are all good at something of significant value. We can contribute those skills to society. Are we artistic? We can create. Can we sing? We can heal hearts. Can we write? We can heal souls. Are we smart? We will discover the cure for cancer. These questions we ask ourselves will help us find other means of fulfillment to oblige by.

            How do we treat others? Do we treat them with respect?  Are we generous with our time and money? When we treat others with respect, we also treat ourselves with respect. We are all connected in this vast universe. Helping others is meaningful and productive, which engenders a domino effect.

            Once we learn how much we actually contribute to the universe, our self-esteem builds along with our self confidence, and we are able to reinvent ourselves once again – - a wonderful, intricate, and continuous process. We no longer ache as we once did because we have moved on and forward.