Winter doldrums-everyone gets them at one time or another. The skies are gray, the air is cold, the fuel bills sky-rocket and people are grumpy. Single people have fewer opportunities to get out and mingle; families are shut into small spaces getting on each other’s nerves.

So what can you do to keep the malaise at bay?

First of all, don’t self-diagnose. Unless your mood of unhappiness persists over an extended period of time, you are probably experiencing normal everyday wintertime blahs. If the feeling persists or if it seems unbearably strong, seek help. Talk to your minister, call a depression hotline, schedule an appointment with a counseling professional. Sorrow may be the birthright of humankind, but no one has to live in a valley of perpetual despair.

Second, seek company. Go mall-walking, play an online game, call a friend, visit friends or relatives. Humans are social beasts. Even the most dedicated hermit needs a visitor now and then.

Third, pet an animal. Animal companions help fill that need for company. Having a pet forces the human half of that companionship to tend to needs of the four-footed (or two and winged, or finned as the case may be) home member. While cleaning containers or litter boxes, feeding and watering may not be exciting, they do force physical movement. Cuddling and stroking the critter eases tension and triggers more positive emotions. Animal friends are good listeners, too.

Fourth, keep a diary. All those thoughts that keep running around in your head that seem so important today may be trivial when read tomorrow. However, writing them down gives them somewhere to go.

Five, check the light levels in your house. Add sun-lamps or natural light fluorescents if possible. The shorter days, longer nights that occur during winter signal our system to shut down and sleep for longer periods of time.

Six, reality check: do you have a real reason to feel sad? Unhappiness comes in a lot of different packages. Heavy burdens of debt, over-work, lack of sleep, grief for death of a loved one, disappointment over a hoped-for life change that didn’t go as planned, distance from the people you love-these are all reasonable causes for feeling less than chipper. Take a look at the reasons, determine which ones can be helped or changed, understand that some will never quite go away but that time will dim the sharpness and make remembering/feeling easier to bear.

Seven, take a nap. Now, I’m not talking about sleeping all the time. But adults in the United States (and I suspect in other places as well) tend to be chronically short on sleep. If you have been getting less than 6 hours of sleep a night or if you are a person who really does better on 8 to 12 hours of sleep per day, if the opportunity presents itself: go take a nice, cozy nap. Cuddle up in your favorite blanket, take an animal friend to bed with you, cuddle with your significant other or even that fractious preschooler that’s been whining all day and driving you nuts. (He or she probably needs a nap, too.) Take a good book, or a video of something fun and positive or just turn on some gentle up-beat music, and have a nice snooze. Chances are, you will wake up with a solution to the problem that has been bothering you, a little more distance from the things you can’t change; at the very least, you will be more rested and prepared to deal with life’s battles.

Eight: Check your hunger levels. When did you last eat? Have you been involved in a project and put off eating? Have you been sitting around nibbling on junk food instead of eating a real meal? What about caffeine? How much have you ingested in the last 8-10 hours? We may not be what we eat, but it does alter our attitude. Know what makes you feel good, and what will make you irritable or ill.

Nine: Learn to accept the things you can’t change, and know what they are. Among those things are the attitudes/minds of others. You are the only person in the world over whom you have full control; you are the only person in the world for whom you can make life-changing decisions consistently over a long period of time. We teach our children, we influence our spouses/friends/family; if in a position of authority, we make decisions that affect others either directly or indirectly; but it is only ourselves that we can change from the inside out. Work on changing yourself, not those around you.

Ten: Forgive yourself, and forgive those around you. It isn’t as easy as saying “I forgive”, it takes work. But unless you can forgive, all those mistakes, wrongs and little unhappinesses will eat at you unbearably. Fix what you can fix, try to do better, and then get on with doing the things that need to be done.

Eleven: Clean something, or fix something. It may be shining your shoes, doing your laundry, rummaging out that file drawer that’s a year or so over-due for a good throwing out. It’s something positive in the world that you can change when it seems like everything is pressing in with the unchangeable.

Twelve: And my very favorite: seed catalogs. I love gardening, although plants don’t grow the very best for me. But seed catalogs-in paper or online-have bright, colorful pictures of growing plants with green leaves and bright blossoms. They have pictures of mouthwatering, healthy foods that can be grown in gardens. All that pictured summer bounty lifts the heart.

So, throw off those winter blues: go dancing in your living room, sing to the grumpy children, scrub out those grubby corners and put up some fresh holiday greens. You don’t have to be a Pollyanna to think happy thoughts. And you don’t have to think them all the time-but pick out a happy memory, and run with it for today. Make sunshine inside, and the sun will come up tomorrow.