Confessing Unrevised
by About the fine art of confessing our humanity, our weaknesses to those who are trustworthy. The intent is to reintroduce confession as non-intrusive willingness towards unity and intimacy "kissed" by divine reward.
Confessing relieves us wholly as well as it refreshes our relationships, if it is done properly.
It is also one of the most overlooked disciplines in modern day Christianity.
We are not necessarily speaking of the old practice of confessing at church or to someone calling themselves Father, Elder, Minister or Rabbi.
We are speaking of natural, gradual but progressive trusting conversation that allows us to let others honestly know what our alliance is to them and the purpose of the relationship.
Obstacles To Healthy Confession
Truly, confessing our weaknesses goes against our ingrained drive for self-preservation.
It is also socially “acceptable” to lie. People in a certain position will lie or deceive to get to a higher position.
The largest, most pervasive reason people chose not o confess their struggles or wrongdoings is actually a lack of trust with whom they are engaged with on a daily basis.
What if people only chose friends whom they could confess things to without fear of losing that individuals respect, support or presence in our life?
Healthy Confession
Confession, we might say, is a spiritual weeding in a otherwise fruitful and fulfilling garden.
Healthy confession only works when we have figured out to whom we will confess what, and to what degree.
Fantasies, hopes, fears of intimacy, sexual pleasure, desires, attraction—-all of these are extremely personal, therefore it does not do well to confess in depth there matters except with a spouse, fiance or counselor/therapist if it serves a purpose.
Past crimes, time in jail, violence,abuse—-it is never too late to confess these things to family only as slowly as members can receive what is being disclosed.These can be toxic if kept secret especially when asked whether we commit or are a victim of this category.
We must either confess we committed the offense; or find someone we can confess we fell victim to the offense.
Presentcrimes, violence and abuse(possibly yet undiscovered). The committor has the responsibility to confess these to family,(depending on how close) officers,counselors and attorneys. Unless we want to remain criminal but that would mean there’s no point to read on.
The victim has the responsibility to confess the knowledge to family,counselors,officers,and attorneys also.
For less traumatic confessions, people are more apt to forgive another when they feel respected enough to be given the truth.
It is the act of giving the option to the one we confess to to reevaluate the relationship informed rather then insulted by being lied to.
People will not necessarily like us more when we confess and needing to confess usually implies we have repairs to tend to once the confession is out if the person we are confessing to continues to be loyal.
As confessors we must accept that the confession hearers attitude towards us may change forever—–that’s the intuitive fear that can paralyze us out of confessing the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
We may lose the relationship we are confessing within in order to save. That is the essence of confession.
Confession asks others to hold us accountable to working away from wrongdoing, wrongthinking and wrong acting.
It also inevitably puts a higher value on others we may have been taking for granted.
Confession defeats deceit. It means hiding is no longer the most important thing.
It means we are at the end of ourselves and need a perspective adjustment. No matter the cost.
What confessions do we hold and wait to throw off—like tumored skin robbing the healthy?
Do Tell, Do Well…….
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