Do What You Can’t Do By Pretending You Can

How can this be translated into dealing with something like stage fright? I would ask my students to think of someone they knew who did not suffer from stage fright. I would then ask them to pretend to be those people. The results were astounding.

Students were asked to prepare an audition speech to perform in front of their peers – a very nerve-wracking experience. When they performed as themselves, they exhibited all the signs of stage fright: trembling, quavering voice, fast breathing, muscular tension, shuffling of feet, loss of diction, stomach churning. I then asked them to do the audition again, but this time pretending to be the person who did not suffer from stage fright. As soon as they entered the room we could see the difference: relaxed and confident, eye contact with audience, mellifluous vocals – and the biggest difference of all, they looked as if they were actually enjoying the experience.

Facial and Postural Feedback

We know that there is a link between our psychology and our physiology: when we feel depressed, our friends and family know immediately because we adopt a depressed posture. Our facial expressions change. Someone you know well will walk into the room, and immediately, without a word being said, know that something is wrong. What is less well known is that the link is circular – our physiology also affects our psychology. Adopting a relaxed and confident posture will make you feel relaxed and confident. Smiling releases serotonin in the brain, a powerful mood enhancer which makes you feel happy. A famous psychology experiment involves 100 people in a room. 50 are asked to hold a pencil between their teeth for five minutes. The other 50 simply sit and observe. They are then asked to rate the funniness of cartoons.

The people who have held the pencil between their teeth rate the cartoons as more funny than the others. Why? Because holding a pencil between your teeth forces the mouth into the semblance of a smile. This physical action is what causes the release of serotonin and the subsequent enhancement of mood.

When the actors were asked to pretend to be people who did not suffer from stage fright they changed their posture and facial expression to one of relaxed confidence. This fed back into the brain which released a combination of chemicals which caused them to feel relaxed and confident. Pretence became reality.

Does This Work With Anyone?

Yes. I was recently asked to work with a young lady who could not swallow pills. She had no problem swallowing food, but was unable to swallow medication in pill form. She had to ask her doctor for liquids, or grind up pills to swallow (not a good idea, because sometimes pills are designed to dissolve slowly). She was desperate to change. I had the shortest therapy session I have ever had with this lady. I asked her if she knew someone who could easily swallow pills.

“My friend Mary can take pills, no problem”.

I handed her a vitamin tablet and asked her to show me what Mary would do with it. She showed me. And swallowed the tablet. End of session.

Practise Being Someone Else

The next time you are tempted to say, “I can’t do that”, think again and then just pretend that you can. If you have a specific problem, think about someone you know who would deal with that problem very well and then pretend to be them. You will be pleasantly surprised at the results.