Don’t Yell at Me

Don’t Yell At Me!

He came charging into the living room and slammed the door.

“That b####! She has done it again!”

“Please don’t yell at me. Just calm down and tell me what is wrong.”

“I’m going home,” he said as he stormed out and got into his car.

I stood on the porch and watched as he drove off. I know his ex-wife can be a pain to deal with sometimes, but he really needs to get his anger under control.

Natural emotion

Anger is a natural emotion, and everyone has experienced it at one time or another. Anger out of control, however, can become a serious problem. We’ve all seen road rage, temper tantrums, and even mental and physical abuse and injury.

Uncontrolled anger can lead to problems at work, at home, and in the whole quality of life. When you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up. You need to learn how to release your anger without running the risk of a stroke or heart attack or injuring your relationships with the people close to you.

The natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. But you can’t hit people (your ex-spouse, for example) who irritate you, and you can’t go around destroying everything in the room. You need to take into account laws and common sense in releasing your anger.

Suppressing your anger is not healthy. That can lead to hypertension, high blood pressure, depression, or to other physical problems. If you are constantly putting others down, cursing, and throwing things, you haven’t learned how to release your anger constructively. You need to calm yourself down and let the anger feelings subside. If you can’t get away from the situation that angers you, then you need to at least control your responses.

Self-control

Simple relaxation exercises can help calm down your anger feelings. Breathe deeply and tell yourself to relax. Remind yourself that losing your temper will not help the situation. If you curse, swear, or act in an aggressive manner, you may alienate those who might want to help you.

Instead of allowing your anger to flare, try listening to the other person. Did that person really say what you thought he did? Maybe there is an underlying problem that that person is unable to verbally express. Maybe you misunderstood. If you are in a heated conversation, slow down and think about what you’re about to say. Don’t respond too quickly. Keep your cool and think carefully about what the other person is trying to tell you.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Sometimes a little humor can diffuse the situation. Also, try to give yourself a break. Take some time for yourself to think over the situation. If you feel that your anger is truly out of control, you may want to consider seeing a counselor.

You can’t do away with anger-that would not be healthy or natural. You can’t change the fact that life is filled with frustration and pain, but you can change the way you react to things. In many cases, controlling your anger will prevent situations from becoming worse.