Eight Ways to Make Yourself Appear More Powerful
by Helping you gain the respect of your peers, whether at work or in your social life.
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Eliminate Nervous Gesture
Often subconsciously, humans relay messages about their state of mind through micro-movements. If you want people to take you seriously, be aware of your body language. Don’t wring your hands, don’t touch your face, and don’t rake your hair using your fingers. If necessary, cross your arms in a casual motion or stuff your hands into your pocket. Any nervous gesture will make you appear weak, and people will be more likely to take advantage of you.
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Master the Handshake
When greeting another person, offer your hand for a handshake. When your hand makes contact with the other person’s hand, gently tilt your hand to the left so that it lies on top of the other hand. This is a friendly gesture of dominance, and it, quite literally, gives you the ‘upper hand’ in an interaction. If the other person tries to do the same thing to you, acquire the advantage by stepping into the handshake and using both hands to shake, thus sandwiching their hand.
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Change Your Style of Movement
When walking, ensure that you move confidently in the desired direction. Try not to wander or appear lost. In order to do this, quicken your pace and swing your arms as you walk, thus taking up more space. When you see someone you know, greet them with a slight incline of the head rather than expose your palm to them. Showing the palm is a sign of submission and you might appear weak by using it as a greeting.
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Use Eye Contact Correctly
When listening to someone talk, it’s important to look at the person directly in the eyes. If this feels difficult, try looking at the bridge of their nose instead; it will have a similar effect. When talking, spend a couple seconds looking the person straight in the eyes to emphasize important points, but then move your eyes either to the right or left of the listener. Never look down, as this is a submissive gesture.
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Claim Objects Near You
In order to appear like a dominant individual, claim nearby objects. If you’re talking to someone and near a wall, place your hand on the wall so that you appear larger. If there’s something nearby that you can step on, prop your foot up on the object. If you’re sitting across from someone at a table, claim space by extending your arm and gripping an edge of the table between you and the other person. By doing this, you are claiming territory and will appear more assertive.
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Master Conversation
When conversing with someone, ensure that you listen to the other person’s ideas but subtly gain power over the communication. When you sense that a topic is becoming dry, be the first person to change the subject. If someone interrupts you during communication, counter-attack it by raising your voice and interrupting the person in return in order to regain your chance to speak. Lean slightly towards the person when speaking, and use your hands to further enhance your speech. This will help you appear dominant.
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Use Touch
If you want to speak to someone of the same gender and the situation is appropriate, greet them with a friendly touch on the shoulder, elbow, or back. By gently invading their space, you can further claim territory and assert dominance over the other person. While doing this, however, remember not to be rude. If the person steps back as a result of the touch, give them more space. Though you want to appear powerful, you don’t want to be overly domineering.
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Be Humorous
Usually, the person who tells the jokes in a group appears more powerful overall. Laugh when someone provides humor, but be sure to follow it with your own comic standup. Not only will this potentially increase your status, but it will cause people to grow a liking to your presence.
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Post CommentGale Barker
On July 11, 2008 at 12:27 pm
I think the real benefit of the techniques that you suggest is not that they make the other person feel inferior, but rather they make you feel confident and that will instantly help you to relax.
Use these techniques – you have researched your bodylanguage – but remember that life is not a battle. I think that if you spend your whole life trying to appear like the ‘top dog’, you will end up terribly stressed and not particularly happy.
Pay attention to the other person because you are genuinely interested in them and you won’t care whether you are the dominant one or the underdog in the interaction. You will be too busy being in the moment and enjoying the encounter to worry about how you are being perceived.
Thank you for your article, Earthwolf – your writing is always entertaining and thought-provoking.
Earthwolf
On July 13, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Thank you for your comment. These techniques aren’t meant to be used in order to control another person. Rather, these are basic tips that will help someone appear more confident, and the confidence, in turn, may lead into better and more equal relationships with other people.
I’ve noticed that there are some people, me included, that lack assertiveness either because of a non-intimidating physical structure or general anxiety, and as a result, they often aren’t taken seriously and miss opportunities that may otherwise become available to them. It seems that sometimes it’s necessary to utilize techniques that force you to become more assertive than your comfort zone in order to be successful in certain situations.