Nowadays, many people have been living in resentment, hatred, ill will which unable themselves take the great opportunity of experiencing true happiness through forgiveness. One simple misunderstanding in a relationship can turn into a cold war resulting into bitterness and hate. Others create violent actions thus, causing chaos. We can say, “Yes, I forgive you.” but deep inside, we failed. It’s very difficult to offer forgiveness, that’s very true. But here are 5 tips found very effective.

Know the true meaning of forgiveness

The goal of forgiveness is to let go of a hurt and move ahead with life; but it doesn’t mean you have to forget. There may be an old quote that says, “Forgive and Forget”, but when you forgive someone, you have the right to refuse building a relationship with that person again. The offense and the hurt could not be denied. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to be oblivious to the cruelty.

Know the value of the word “sorry”

Saying this bi-syllabic word is very hard to do. It takes enough strength just to utter such word. It’s like fighting MR. SHAME in a blood-curdling situation. So, in order to become a generous forgiver, you should know that “SORRY” is of great value and only then will it be easier for you to forgive and forget.

Know the effects of nursing a grudge

Nursing a grudge takes mental, emotional, and physical energy. The angrier we are, the more stress we are under. An unforgiving and bitter person who has not let go of animosities can poison even the healthiest of relationships. We should always bear in mind that everyone is fallible and can’t act the way we want them to be.

Know how to let go of a grudge – with actions

There’s a powerful symbolic yet simple and easy exercise which has been found to be therapeutic especially for those who have hid bitterness for so long. Here’s how: Write a letter to your offender pouring everything you feel, but, don’t mail it. You can burn it or bury it somewhere in your backyard; it’s as simple as that! You never know, you may have already forgiven him/her in the process.

Know this vital fact: forgiveness is a gift you give yourself

A man visited his best friend who just had a painful break-up. “Have you forgiven her?”, the man asked. “No! I still hate her for hurting me!”, his best friend replied. “Well, in that case,” the man said, “she still has you in prison.”

Basically, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Bitterness, anger, resentment – all these imprisons you emotionally. You might think you have recovered already, but alas! Only forgiveness can set you free. In Colossians 3:13 Paul commanded: “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”