For the sake of brevity, let’s assume you drive your car to work every day. And every day you take the same route. It’s so routine that you could drive it with your eyes shut. Now imagine that one day one of the streets you normally drive down is closed off. What do you do? It’s a simple question with a simple answer for most. You’d probably go down a different street to get to where you need to be. Essentially, you’d see the road block, think of a different way to get to work, and then take that alternative route, driving around the obstacle.

A similar thing happens when you reach a personal obstacle. You’re driving along on the highway of life, doing the same thing day in and day out, just minding your own business, then there it is. An obstacle. What is the obstacle? Obviously it’s different for each of us. It may be the realization of a dead end job, an unsatisfying relationship, trying to start up your own business, or a just a plain old feeling of not being happy enough. So what are you to do?

Similar to the roadblock analogy, you would stop, think, make a new plan, and then implement the new plan. Simple, right? Maybe not. For many people it’s hard to even stop what they’re doing in order to see that there is an obstacle in their life. Instead, feelings of anxiety, frustration, and resentment, among others, emerge and filter their perception of what is in front of them. It’s like driving up to the roadblock, sitting there at a standstill, getting worked up and angry, and never getting to your intended destination. Why do people do this?

“Why” is a question with an answer that goes beyond the scope and intention of this article. But perhaps it more important to realize that people do this (including myself and perhaps you, too) and that there are solutions to “getting around” the obstacles in our lives. It may just take an objective bystander to simply point out to you that you are not moving towards that place where you want to be. That may be enough of a wake-up call to get you moving. However, as a reflection of our consumer driven society, it is sometimes more convenient to get hired help in the form of a counselor or life coach.

Seeking Professional Help

Counselors and psychotherapists, in most states, receive formal education that culminates in a master’s degree and ultimately licensure or certification. They primarily focus on what’s wrong with the individual and work with their clients to bring about life change. They achieve this through the application of various theories based on social, psychological, and behavioral empirical research…for the most part. However, it’s not uncommon for these professionals to at times resort to good old advice giving. You can search the web, or the trusty old phone book for local therapists in your area. Word of mouth referrals are also a good place to start, but feel free to “shop around” and interview with these professionals to find one that you feel can best meet your needs.

Life coaches are professionals that may have a background in fields other than mental health and counseling. Many have never even set foot in a college classroom. But that shouldn’t discourage the use of their service. Coaches can take a slightly different approach to helping an individual achieve life change. In general, coaches work with the skills you already have and “coach” you into bringing out your fullest potential. Kind of like an athletic coach who helps athletes become better than they were when they first started. Most coaches will also focus on helping someone develop a specific skill rather than a broad set of life changes. For example, a career coach will help you find a specific job, whereas a counselor may help you find out what you want to do in life. It’s important to research as best you can to find out their expertise, their experience, their training, and their customers’ satisfaction. Again, word of mouth reference is very helpful here, but you can also go online and do a search for coaching organizations to get referrals for someone in your area.

What Does It Cost?

Typically, coaches can be much more expensive up front and have hire rates per hour than a counselor or psychotherapist. It’s not unusual for coaches to charge a few thousand dollars for their services. Counselors on the other hand usually have smaller up front costs, but see you for several sessions over the course of a time period that can be much longer than the coach. And while counselors are usually covered by insurance, there are very few, if any, insurance plans that will cover the costs of seeing a life coach.

While the costs will vary between coaches and counselors, it’s not surprising that the use of these services can consume a significant chunk of a person’s finances. However, that shouldn’t stop you from getting where you want to be in life. The results can be rewarding in the end, both from a financial standpoint and a personal growth one. For example, a coach or counselor can help you acquire the skills needed for a career that could lead to a healthy income. You could make back the money that you spent on hiring professional help, and then some. Additionally, may be a better decision financially to increase the opportunities for life change by investing in your personal growth rather than saving up for next year’s newest car model, for example. Think about it, why would you invest in something that depreciates over time? Isn’t it better to invest in yourself (i.e., something that can appreciate over time)?

Looking To A Mentor

Another resource for people looking to change where their life is headed is in the form of a mentor. This is not a very talked about route in the mainstream. Mentors don’t usually advertise that they are mentors – the good ones don’t, anyway. A mentor is a person who you respect, look up too, and whose life or lifestyle you want to model yours after. They provide you with their wisdom, share their experiences, and can help you acquire the skills needed to foster professional or personal development. Generally there is no monetary fee, as a mentor is usually at a point in his life where he is sharing his knowledge because of altruistic reasons. But there may be an unspoken “quid pro quo” aspect that underlies the relationship. Don’t cringe. It’s usually the polite thing to do; that is, to give something back to the person who invested a lot of time and effort into your own personal development. Mentors may not expect anything in return, but it’s ok to give back something as a gesture of thanks or to show your mentor that you have really taken what he has given you to heart. You can find a mentor by making yourself available to others, joining social networks, attending seminars, or by just asking others for help. You’ll know who the mentors are. You’ll know it because you’ll say to yourself, “I want to be like that person.”

So the next time you’ve come face to face with an obstacle in life, what will you do? Coaches, counselors, psychotherapists, and mentors are just one way of getting help when you feel stuck. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to pay for help. But you’ve got to start doing, and stop not doing. You’ve got to apply what you learn and expect that the first time you try something that it won’t automatically lead to change. It’s a process. Sometimes it’s a shorter process for some, and a longer process for others. But your life will never change unless you change first. Step out of your comfort zone and risk a little.