How to be a Good Mother in Law
by Sons and daughters marry, and sometimes those people might not have been the choice of mother in laws. There are some rules that makes a relationship with in laws work.
In-laws are complicated individuals. They have to hide their disappointments and accept what is doled out by their children. Being an in-law requires restraint and a lot of perseverance, but it is a worthwhile endurance.
Here are a few hints on how to be a good in-law.
First of all, no matter what feelings you have for the daughter or son in-law, bury them. You have to learn to survive with them. They will give you grandchildren and you will want to enjoy visits and good times with them.
Learn to adapt. You might not have chosen the daughter or son in law, but they were chosen by your children.
Learn to keep your feelings in check. A ranting and raving session with the daughter or son in law, does not solve anything. If you have a problem, tell your son or daughter. Deal with them.
Be attentive to the daughter or son in law. Remember birthdays, anniversaries and other events, just as you do for your own children.
Never butt into their lives.
Never take sides in an argument. If you do, you will end up alienating your own children. The argument will be over, but they will be upset with you for interfering or saying something unkind.
Try to be responsive to their needs. Listen to them, but do not let them say unkind things about your children. Be firm and make sure that you don’t say unkind things to your children about them.
If there are children that came with the marriage, treat them kindly and as part of your family.
Being a good in-law is a plus for keeping the family close. If you alienate the in-laws, you will find that your children also stay away.
It takes a little “eating crow” at times, but all families have to do that sometimes. Keeping peace in a family is important, and that peace keeper should start with the in-laws, you.
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