So you want to be a nonconformist, but you don’t know where to start. These tips can help.
So you are getting tired of being just another face in the crowd and you want to stand out. Maybe you’re sick of being a mindless drone and want to become an individual. If you want to be unique, here are some tips that can help you become a nonconformist and stop following the crowd. If you aren’t sure if you want to give nonconformity a try, just remember; all the cool kids are doing it!
- Wear only black. This sets you apart from all the conformists who wear colors.
- Shop at Hot Topic regularly. Brag about how many HT points you have after every trip to the mall. The more money you spend there, the more of a nonconformist you are.
- Obsess over vampires. Talk about them, read about them, watch movies about them, and pretend you are one. An interest in vampires shows others what a unique and tortured soul you are.
- Listen to “dark” music. Listen to bands like the Cure. Don’t listen to anything too obscure, as, if other nonconformists aren’t familiar with the band, they won’t recognize you as one of them.
- Conversely, only listen to obscure bands that no one knows about, but as soon as anyone else starts listening to them, immediately shun the band and whine about how they are sell outs. You can’t be a unique if anyone else likes any band you like.
- Be bisexual. Having a sexual orientation outside of the norm shows everyone how sexually open and interesting you are. Hardly anyone is bi these days, especially girls, so you will seem unique. Constantly talk about all the members of the same sex you find attractive, even though you’ve never even had a real relationship with anyone who wasn’t the opposite sex. Make out with members of your own sex in public so everyone knows just how bi you are.
- Get tattoos and piercings. Mutilating your body is a sure way to show the world that you don’t care about fitting in, as people with body mods are a rarity in today’s world. Bonus points if you get a tattoo of an Chinese character (even though you don’t read Chinese) and take the tattoo artist’s word for what the symbol means. Double bonus points if you pierce your genitals/nipples. These things only seem idiotic to conformists.
- Obsess over Asian culture, even though you are not Asian. This shows that you are too good for American society and that you are different. Make fun of people who read American comic books while you are reading manga.
- Become interested in things that are stereotypical interests for the opposite gender. For example, if you are a female, play video games. You will be the world’s first female gamer. Become passive-aggressive with other female gamers, as you are the only true gamer girl.
- Claim that you don’t get along with people of your own gender, and that you can only relate to people of the opposite gender, even though most of your close friends are the same gender as yourself.
- Don’t associate with anyone who is not a nonconformist. You don’t want the other nonconformists to think that you’re a conformist.
- Be straight-edge until you’re 18, then start drinking, smoking, and having sex with everything that moves. That makes you unique.
- Get a DeviantArt account. All nonconformists are “tortured artists.” No one gets you, and art is the only way you can express yourself (don’t be alarmed that everyone else’s artwork looks exactly like yours. These other nonconformist artists actually “get” you).
- Post fan art and fan fiction on DeviantArt. Your interpretations of other people’s work is much more expressive and artistic than the original anyway. Bonus points if it’s slash fiction. You’re homoerotic interpretation of the characters you are writing about is unique and cutting-edge.
- Still use the LiveJournal or Xanga account you started when you were 14. Your life is so unique and interesting that everyone wants to read about it. You have to show all the conformists how different you are than everyone else. Your thoughts about the people you sleep with and your struggles with your weight and depression are so insightful.
- Be random for the sake of being random. Make sure the word “random” appears in your online profiles at least 50 times each.
- Describe all of your FaceBook photos as “emo.” Get pissed whenever anyone calls you emo.
- Pick up the random interests of all of your “eccentric” friends (some suggestions include various science fiction series, comic books, dinosaurs, gnomes). There is no better way to become a nonconformist yourself than to simply copy someone you think of as a nonconformist.
- Start referring to yourself as a “nonconformist.” If you say you’re one, other people will believe you.