How to Cover Up Smelling Like Alcohol

Here are some tips that have worked for me the last 7yrs.  I am employed at a very established company, where I have personally seen people get in big trouble and even fired for showing up still drunk from the night before.  Sadly enough I am an alcoholic and cannot go a night without drinking so through the yrs i have come up with a system that has worked for me. 

First due to not being able to calculate shots and hard liquor that well, during the work week I usually stick to beer.  Its easier to calculate the hrs to beer ratio: 1 beer an hr. for the average body to process.  I start drinking at 7 pm, I get a 12 pack of cheaper beer, bud light, Coors light, mgd, etc… then i get 3 24oz of better beer, Guinness, Stella, Heineken, whatever.  I drink 18 beers a night.  I have to be done drinking those 18 beers by the earliest 10 pm, 11 pm by the very latest. By 10 I am pretty drunk! So I have to wake up for work at 630 am, which is 8 1/2 hrs after my last beer.  Before I go to bed if not passed out, I have to drink at least 3 glasses of water.  I  wake up still feeling the effects of drinking the night before.  A shower is a must!! Ive gotten away with it before skipping the shower, but it is important.  Before getting in the shower I Visine my eyes really good, get in the shower, I shampoo my hair first, and let it set, then a soap with pore cleaning beads, I use a Luffa or any rigid type of body scrubber (to clean out my pores), shave, rinse then I’m out.  Dry off really good, then take a clear odor free or any kind of invisible deodorant and go over my whole body.  Then I give my body just a little spray of axe, put on my clothes, a little cologne.  I’m on my way!!!  Right before I walk in I throw a piece of gum in my mouth, maybe get a cup of coffee, or smoke a cigarette.  Now for times when Shit hits the fan and your just still really wasted, Do Not over use this technique, I keep a think of Halls cough drops in my cabinet, Suck on a couple of them, fake a cough, and make it obvious that I’m catching a cold, usually people will stay away, then as soon as i sober up in the afternoon, just say wow! thank god for Day-quill, “I felt like shit this morning” sometimes maybe will get you another binge night because people will say if you don’t feel good tomorrow just call us or let someone and take the day off!