How to Deal with Chronic Complainers

A chronic complainer is a person who is always being negative. It could be that they hate their job, the weather is too cold, they can’t stand someone or they hate the food that they are eating. They have only bad things to say about something and they will let everyone know about it. Yes most people do make a complaint now and again but there are some people who take this to the extreme and whine constantly.

If you are at your ends wit of a chronic complainer’s constant negativity there are some techniques you can take to guard your sanity and before you decide to bitch slap the person in the face and get into trouble.

- Tell them to suck it up: Perhaps this could be worded in a more friendlier way such as ‘that sounds bad but this could be a good opportunity to….’ However, sometimes a more direct approach will be better such as ’stop your whining, if you don’t like your job there is nothing stopping you from quitting’.

-Empathise: Telling the complainer that their problem sounds horrible and you do not know how they handle it, can work. It demonstrates that you understand their situation and allows the complainer to respond to how they handle these ‘issues’ turning it into a positive conversation. For example, the complainer advises that they are really overworked and do not have any time, your response could be ’that sounds horrible, I don’t know how you cope, their response is more likely to be ’its not that bad, i am able to reschedule my time to fit more things in’ etc.

 -Avoidance: Try not to be around the chronic complainer. Sometimes this can give you some sanity back and have them not negatively affect you. This may work however, some chronic complainers are attention seekers so avoidance may make it worse where they start seeking you out.

-Confront them: Let them know exactly how you feel, how their complaining is affecting you and that you are there for them but are not able to always deal with their problems.

-Do not be a problem solver: Do not offer suggestions on how they may fix their complaint. Attempts to solve the problem will just lead to more complaints.

Chronic complainers believe its their duty to point out all the problems there are in this world. They are selfish people only thinking about their own needs and not of the people they vent out to. It is not your job to fix all their complaints. Most chronic complainers do not appreciate what they have in life and rather talk about their problems without doing something to solve the problem.