How to Deal with Verbal Attacks

Many people simply don’t know how to repel a verbal abuse. Unhappily, this is simply essential, since, as sad as it might sound, it happens all the time.

In the attack phrase “If I was not from that social group, sure I would…”. Look carefully and you will not find the insult in his words. However, most people react to the hidden bait, the implicit suggestion of discrimination. It is important to be able to identify the hidden words behind the real words, so you can resist the efforts of the attacker to manipulate you.

Tactics: Self-Defense 

Coping with such attacks can be difficult, but we can suggest some options:

1. Breaking the question

The general principle behind this technique is that you want to do something a little unexpected, while implicitly recognizing the insult, but not agreeing to it. It is important not to defend and not be too passive. You don’t want to escalate the fight, but you also don’t want to get insulted.

A good question is:

When did you actually start to suppose that ….?

The end of the question refers to the implied attack.

Questions are likely to cause the attacker to get a bit confused and have to stop so that he can know what to say.

2. Computer tactics

An attacker who waits to respond with an excuse statement (i.e., I am not racist or sexist), or accusation statement (i.e. “you are much worse!”).

You have another option, which involves doing the unexpected. This option involves the use of what we call “computer tactics” as it is something very effective.

Some exemple to remember include:

“It’s interesting that some people think that your social class or gender affects the way they are treated by me.

Note again that these responses were unexpected by the attacker, and at the same time show that you heard the attack, which does not mean that you agree, or even that you are attacking him or defending.