How to Find the Perfect Mentor, Instructor or Trainer

by balisunset in Advice, July 22, 2008

Life and work are often frustrating. Most people have the ability to deal with the unexpected challenges that face us. But sometimes we don’t cope all that well. In some situations, we can benefit from the advice of someone who can see things from a different perspective or who has experienced a similar situation before.

The right mentor may not be immediately obvious. There are lots of intelligent, experienced people who know what they’re talking about. But they might not be right for you. Ending up with the wrong mentor can slow down your career, so keep your eyes open and look for someone with just the right qualities.

An effective mentor will have these qualities:

She listens without making judgements. She acts as a sounding board and allows you to come to your own conclusions if you are unable to solve a problem.
She is not needy or vain. Such people will want to mold you in their image. A good teacher has nothing to prove.
He communicates clearly and honestly. You want a straight shooter who gives meaningful feedback.
He keeps things upbeat. If your mentor has lots of positive energy, you’ll be able to learn more and enjoy the process.
She respects you as a person. If you are just a chore for your mentor, you will not get the best from her.
She is open-minded. Remember that you have plenty to offer. A good mentor should value that and learn from you. She will not only talk but listen.
He wants to see you succeed.
He keeps the process challenging. The best way to learn is to be walked through the decision-making process. A good mentor will not simply give you all the answers. Instead, he will respond with another question, even if it is simply, “First, what do you think?”
She outranks you. If your mentor is your senior, she will have a “higher” perspective and will see the big picture. That is the perspective you want to have.
She has other unique perspectives. For example, if your mentor works in a different department, she will know and see things that you don’t. A more experienced mentor will have been through situations you have not.