What do you do when you are a manager, parent, or hold some other position of authority and have asked your relative or a worker kindly to do something for you and they give you a negative attitude? 

Well, let’s first talk about what you don’t want to do, you don’t want to talk their talk or in other words, stoop down to their level.  What I mean by this is you don’t assume you know how to use the slang they use to quiet he or she, like when talking to a teenager, unless you are using it as an element of surprise tactic then if you do they won’t be mad at you they most likely will laugh and respond with, “Oh no she didn’t…did she really go there?”  To be more clear on this point, take for instance, your teen is working on something that is unimportant to you but means the world to them, but you need them to do something for you right now, they will most likely sigh heavily, and answer you rudely, now you have a choice you can either keep calm and explain, cuss him or her out and snatch the teen up by his or her collar, or walk away and wait for the opportune time to teach this child a lesson. 

I personally like the keep calm and explain choice and then later teach them a lesson, the violence had been used on me in the past and all I can say is it took me years to get over my anger and if you think it made me act any differently, call me crazy, but I got worse as a teen when relating to adults.  Fear tactics never caused me to cower and go into hiding it only made me stronger and eventually caused me to go out into the world swinging, so I don’t recommend violence be used unless you as a parent or leader feel threatened.  Now using the element of surprise tactic is when you suddenly change your personality from the bossy parent to the friend on the street, if you do the impression real well they may laugh, then again they may not.  Now if the child is two years old yelling about what they won’t do, can I just say this without anyone getting offended, you might not want to spare the rod especially if the Nanny 911 tactics aren’t working, but that’s all up to you. 

Another thing you don’t want to do when approaching this smart mouth person is act smart mouth yourself.  Do you really think that if you “sort of, kind of toss paperwork” in front of someone, I recall someone doing that to me years ago, insult the person by telling them what you think about their skills, and raise your voice in a demeaning tone is going to keep them around, then you are sadly mistaken.  You also don’t want to give them the infamous eye roll, stupid eye look, neck roll, or snap your fingers.  Instead, watch your back always be one step ahead of what could potentially happen if you should approach them.  Always remember not everything they say is up for battle, choice your wars carefully.

Before you encounter your next smart mouth person, know this.  People with bad attitudes like to be the center of attention and don’t do well when they are ignored.  Smart mouth people are loud, obnoxious, and rude.  They say things without thinking and usually don’t keep friends because they are always insulting them.  They use bad language, have bad attitudes, and are always stressed.  No matter what you say or do for them it is never good enough.  They are either talking about you to your face or behind your back.  Smart mouth people are angry and they seriously need help.  Treat a smart mouth person like someone with a mental condition, cautiously.

Now when the time comes to have to speak to the smart mouth person, you will want to do the following:

Remain calm.

You might as well accept that you are being tested by this person with the bad attitude even Jesus was tested by the devil so who are we?  They may approach you first instead of the other way around trying to upset you by making stupid comments and insults in a demeaning tone of voice.  If you go there with them, you are setting yourself up.  Ask them is there something that you need?  Being extra careful to smile so that you don’t appear as if you’re really saying, “What do you want?”

Ignore and walk away.

When people rub you the wrong way, you know that if you open your mouth you are going to tell them off or ignore them.  They may say things to you to get you to argue or fight, don’t suddenly open your mouth and talk about how you don’t care what they say and you are blessed and on and on, just keep it moving!  If you must speak, stay in control and be brief.

Use your eyes.

There is a way to look at a person that tells them you mean business.  You aren’t looking away or eye rolling.  Instead you are looking directly at them when you are talking.  You aren’t smiling and you are not mean either.  You state your business and then you continue with whatever task you are working on. 

Raise your voice only if you are emphasizing a point.

There is no need to raise your voice because you hear the smart mouth person raising his or hers, remember you don’t want to give them the satisfaction of saying, “I got her…I made him feel small…”  When they raise their voice, it’s usually because they are looking for an audience.  They want to grab the attention of others hoping they will protest too.  Smart mouth people don’t know how to handle a person when they see they can’t shake them up.  They get nervous and will quickly change their tune if they know they can’t quite get a read on you.

Avoid name-calling and threats.

One way the person can make you just as upset as they are is to call you the worse names they can possibly think of.  As challenging as it is to try to keep from hurling back a few insults, don’t do it.  Instead, scare the smart mouth person off by walking away and either act like you are making a phone call or actually call someone you can share your experience with or walk to your car and pop the trunk.  They don’t know what you could be up to and that’s the feeling you want to give them.  Standing still taking their insults will only make you look weak, but walking away, continuing to do your task, or sitting in your car looking in your glove compartment just might calm them down.  Remember you are never saying a word.  If you notice, Jesus never argued with people, he let his actions do the talking.  I think I would fear someone more who was chanting while extending their hand out to me then a loud mouth teen carrying a bag, calling me a racist name.

Take hold of thoughts of being physical and keep in mind you may go to jail.

Let’s say this person made you so mad that you swore that if you had a gun you would blow their head off.  If you think this way, there is a good chance that you might not only pop the trunk or open the glove compartment, but actually aim your gun.  If you even show an unloaded toy gun, you can get in trouble.  Some people have got into heated arguments and just hit the smart mouth person in the mouth.   However, keep in mind these people lost time at work because of court appearances and in some cases lost their job and went to jail behind the smart mouth fool—it’s just not worth it!  Don’t let it be you!

Contact the manager and explain your situation when you aren’t upset.

Sometimes people rush over to talk to the manager and they look crazier than the smart mouth person who should be fired.  It’s best to calm down and think of a strategy that will help you get this negative person gone for good!  A person with a bad attitude should never have a job in customer service!

If you are assaulted, defend yourself and be sure there are witnesses.

What if the smart mouth person, puts their hands up to you and strikes you?  Most people will not settle for that and will try very hard to make sure that this crazy person will never say another word to anyone else in life!  If it should come down to it and you know you will most likely serve some time, at least have some witnesses.