How to Make Introductions
by Even the outgoing person who seems at ease in most situations may be inwardly flustered – and sometimes outwardly – when it comes to introducing one friend to another.
We seem to have acquired a sort of complex about this, we are so afraid we will forget the “rules” that sometimes we forget the people. And it’s the people, not the rules that are important.
Actually introductions are not nearly as difficult as we imagine them to be. For very formal occasions, in which ceremony is involved such as reception lines or a tea in honor of some prominent person, there are a few special rules. For most occasions, however, all you want to accomplish by an introduction is to make sure that your friends know each other’s names.
Say first the name of the person who deserves the greater courtesy. If you are introducing a man and a woman, the woman’s name would come first, unless the man is older or distinguished for some reason. “Mrs. Cruz, Mr. Santos” constitutes the simplest form of introduction, and means that you are presenting Mr. Santos to Mrs. Cruz. It may seem less stiff if, instead of just the two names, you say, “Mary, this is Ed Santos – Mrs. Cruz.” Or if you like, you may bridge the two names with a phrase such as “May I present” or “May I introduce .” Here, too, the woman’s name would be spoken first. Note, however, that when you use the phrase “I’d like you to meet…” you say the woman’s name first because you are presenting the man to her.
It is important to pronounce each name clearly and distinctly – don’t mumble.
Sometimes, when you are making an introduction, it is friendly and helpful to give a clue about who the people are and what they do. Of course such hints would seem unsuitable and even awkward at a brief meeting on the street. But at a cocktail party, for example, where the two being introduced are expected to chat together at least briefly, it is the most tactful of hostesses to say, “Ed has just come back from Moscow” or “Mary’s having her first art exhibit next week.” Note that you do not have to give a thumbnail biography of anyone, nor should you pin labels on both people – unless each is prominent in his own field and might not know about the other. And you do not have to say why Ed went to Moscow or whether Mary paints, sculpts or makes mobiles. They will find out when they gratefully follow the conversational lead you have given them.
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