How to Make Someone Extremely Pissed Off at You
by Have an arch nemesis? Want to get even with your sworn enemy? Here are ways to do just that in a nonviolent way. Say no to violence, people. It’s bad.
Practice this before executing. And acting is required. You have to do this all out or it will not be believable.
The Switching of the Places of Objects
This tactic is somewhat of a challenge: it requires pretty advanced ninja skills.
The basic idea is, if you’re sitting next to or near your nemesis, you switch objects around him/her around when he/she isn’t looking. Pretty simple, right? WRONG. You have to be patient, quiet, fast, and then be able to not give away the fact that you moved something.
If you want to go crazy with this, try moving larger and larger objects. For example, when your nemesis is busy eating babies (I’m assuming they are extremely evil), try changing shirts, moving furniture, moving cars, even changing hair styles.
The thing about this tactic is that, for it to work well, you have to make the changes extremely non-drastic. They have to be changes that one wouldn’t necessarily notice, unless they are looking for something. Don’t go from a mohawk to a fro in a matter of seconds. Make the changes practically unnoticeable. This is more of an art than a science.
Good ideas include:
Stealing a pencil or switching binders (if in class/school)
Changing coffee to soda and vice versa
Move desk/furniture a few inches every time the person goes to do something
Act like the Person
This tactic, if performed correctly and enough times, can be killer. You have to do it just right though.
The basic idea is to dress up and act like your arch nemesis, focusing on the points you find annoying, but not overplaying it. PRACTICE before executing. This tactic requires a fair amount of planning and rehearsing. But if you execute correctly, it can drive your enemy crazy. Just don’t give up on the act: your enemy probably won’t be bothered at first, but if you do it enough, it is practically guaranteed to annoy them. Just look at Dwight and Jim from The Office.
Repetition
Repetition is an art, not a tactic. You have to learn, through experience, how to repeat phrases, sounds and words in the correct order and at the right time in order to most fruitfully annoy your nemesis.
Repeating sounds whenever your nemesis says a certain word is a good start. For example, if your nemesis says ‘Dude’ a lot, make a little chipmunk sound whenever he/she says ‘Dude’. It’s fun, and will eventually lead to annoyance.
It’s basically your call from there. Move on to repeating certain words and phrases (if you can find words/phrases that particularly annoy your enemy, then all the better) at certain times: whenever your nemesis enters the room, gets up, talks to you, scratches their chin, blinks, or just completely randomly.
So there are five tactics that are very useful and extremely entertaining to anyone who wishes to do battle with their nemesis but doesn’t want to be violent (which is GOOD: reverting to verbalism is always better than physical violence. Doing nothing is probably the best thing, but being verbal is more fun).
Use them wisely. And may the Annoyance Be With You.
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