This method worked for me!

I was a cigarette and pot-smoking selfish party animal.  I didn’t exercise.  I was on anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medication for years.  I was miserable virtually all of the time, and could never figure out why.  Relationships in my life were continually falling apart.  A significant event happened in my life one day that forced me to completely re-evaluate the way I lived my life.  

I made the decision to turn this terrible, significant event into something positive, and so began my journey of first stopping destructive behaviours (such as smoking) and then introducing positive behaviours (I am now training to run a marathon in a few months).  I still have bad days, and I am by no means “perfect” but I am infinitely happier now, and I am emitting positive energy to those around me.  I sleep well.  I am happy to be alive.

You can do it!

Time to be happy

Many people live their lives being unhappy almost all the time.  This is not the way it is supposed to be!  A great way to introduce happiness into one’s life is to start removing the negative things that are making them unhappy, and then begin to replace them with positive things.

Perhaps a person wants to lose weight, stop gambling, stop drinking, become healthy, heal relationships, or just take steps to feel better about who they are.

This method is very simple and if you are willing to make the commitment to take control of your life you can most certainly turn your life in a direction that is much more fulfilling and happy than it is today.

Here’s how it works:

First, accept the fact that permanent, sustainable change of any kind takes time.  Be patient, but remember, by simply reading this far, you have already taken a step in the right direction and you can consider yourself on the way to a happier existence.

1. Stop Behaviours

Begin by identifying one thing you can STOP doing, that, if you can permanently stop doing it, you will get a huge benefit from it.  This could be something like quitting smoking (I quit after 22 years by reading “The Easy Way to Quit Smoking”, by Allen Carr).  If your goal is to lose weight and become fit, it could be that your first change is to pick one of your favourite unhealthy foods and stop eating it.  If you are trying to stop gambling, decide to completely avoid the casino from now on.  If you have a drug problem, pick a drug to stop using.  This first step will likely be the toughest one, and it is a huge decision to start down the path of being happier, but think of it this way: if you can do this one thing, all the others will be easier.

2. Sustain the Change

Once you’ve identified the one, first behaviour that you’d like to stop, make a commitment to yourself, in your own heart, that you are going to stop it permanently.  This means saying goodbye to it forever.  If you’re not ready to do it now, begin mentally preparing yourself for it.

When you are ready to stop the behaviour, continue to live your life as you do, but make the decision to stop doing it, and then, simply stop.  If there are other things in your life that you’re doing that you believe are negative, don’t necessarily stop doing these things just yet.  The key here is to stop doing “the big one”, whatever that is in your case, and then don’t ever go back to it.  Focus all your energy and will power on this one goal, knowing while you are craving that one thing, whatever it is, that you are doing this because it will make you happier.  You will, without a doubt, gain a tremendous amount of personal strength and satisfaction by getting even a few day of not doing that one thing behind you.  And by focusing on only one thing, you will have a much greater likelihood of success than if you were to try and change six things all at once.  This is key.

3. Stop Another Behaviour

Once you believe you have permanently stopped the first one you picked, think of something else you’d like to stop doing.  Follow the same process as above; make the commitment to stop, then stop. 

4. Sustain the Change

Continue this way until you feel that you have stopped doing the things that are robbing you of the most happiness.  Over time you will wean yourself off each of these negative behaviours.  As you are victorious with each one, you will gain an inner-strength and a sense of self-esteem that will begin to grow and grow.  You are taking control of your life and being good to yourself!  This feels really good.  You are now growing into a better, happier and probably healthier person.  You will probably start hearing comments about how well you look, or how much happier you seem.  You will begin to have peace in your heart more often.

5. Don’t get discouraged if you fall

If you do have an instance where you revert to your old habit, do not throw in the towel and give up on changing your life.  We are humans and human beings sometimes have moments of weakness.  Learn from the mistake, understand what led to it happening, and vow to never, ever let it happen again.  Move on and get back to the business of bettering yourself.

6. Start Positive Behaviours

After you have identified and stopped the destructive behaviours in your life, it is time to begin starting new positive behaviours. As an example, if your goal is to lose weight and live a healthy, active lifestyle, you may consider introducing some moderate exercise into your daily routine.  Take small steps, and choose things that you know you can do, and then as before, make the commitment to do them.  Once this new step has become a new habit, introduce something else.  Perhaps as someone who has decided to become sober you have some relationships to heal.  Start by listing the ones you’d like to fix first, and then begin working on the list, one at a time.  Don’t move to the next person until you are comfortable that you have done what is needed with the first.  Whatever your goal, pick one thing you can START doing in your life that will lead to positive change, make the commitment to start doing it, then just do it!

7. Sustain the Change

Once you’ve started a new behaviour, make it a part of your life.  By the time you get to the point where you are starting new behaviours, when you have stopped the negative ones and sustained the change, your life will be noticeably better than it is now.  It is important to remain focused, even though you may not be suffering the way you have been lately.  Continue to make positive changes, and continue to start new, positive behaviours.  You may even occasionally spot another negative behaviour that you want to stop.  Use the same method.

This simple method is about small, sustainable steps combined with time.  It takes some patience, but simply knowing that you have taken even one step to be a better person, and then remaining loyal to your commitment to the behaviour change will make you feel so much better than you have been.

You can do it!  Just start when you are ready, and move on to the next step when you are ready.  For each step, DECIDE in your own mind that you will stop / start, then just do it.  Doing one thing at a time will ensure you don’t get overwhelmed; so often people try to stop all their bad habits at once, and this can be an unhealthy shock to the system, either physically, emotionally or both. You will probably find that once you get started on this you will continue applying these same principles for the rest of your life.