Learning to Let Go

Isn’t it hard to let go of the past? Why is it, we hold on to things that have no more purpose in our lives? Is it that we think that if we hold on to the past then we will forever remember what was done to us? Somehow we fear that if we let go of the grudge we are holding, then we are not honoring the pain. The pain is not going to diminish with revenge. It won’t decrease with mental torture.

Why do we hold on to the pain? Why do we punish ourselves longer than we have to or need to? Why do we feel the need to constantly remind ourselves of some of the most painful moments in our lives? It is because we feel that if we forget what was done, then we are somehow letting the offender off the hook. This is far from the case.

If you want to get back at someone who offended you, the best thing to do is to succeed. I wrote about this before, but the best revenge is success. It is not cliche. It is truth. To let a person who thinks they left you helpless and hopeless, see you in a moment of triumph and a season of success, is so powerful. They get the message that you did not lay down and die just because of their issues.

Holding on to grudges is not the same as learning lessons. Learning lessons means that you learned how to deal with a particular individual and  you won’t make the same mistake again. Holding grudges means that you feel the need to punish the person, by your actions, words, or even temperament. Holding grudges not only keeps you tied to that person, it keeps you held in that moment in your life.

For me, I would rather move on. I would rather figure out the quickest way to get over the pain. I would rather let go of any thought of that person and the offense they did to me. The reason is, the sooner I succeed the better I will feel. The quicker I triumph the better chance I will have of feeling more confident when I run into that person again.

You only feel defeated and less than, if you have not done anything worth mentioning in your own life.  When you have in your own mind and spirit done all that you could to do better, then you won’t even have time to focus on that man or woman that hurt  you. The more time you have on your hands, the more time you have to focus on the pain and the memories of that pain.  The more time you spend focusing on getting in shape, writing a book,getting a degree, or working for charity, the less time you will have on your hands thinking about meaningless memories.

You must realize that your life is not over because you have been hurt. You have the power to let go of the past. It can only stay as long as you hold onto it. It can only linger if you allow it to. The pain can only remain as long as you refuse to free your mind.