Learning to Overcome Loss

         The stress and pain of loss is always particularly hard to handle. Maybe that is due, in part, to our attitude about loss. Our society tends to support the notion that life is supposed to progress along in a forward, upward manner providing us with numerous acquisitions such as friends, loved ones, pleasant experiences, wealth, fame, prestige, knowledge, wisdom, status, power, and material possessions.

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           The attitudes we carry about life and what we value most determine where we will put our energies. Often what we value most is what we gain at the greatest cost or through the most effort. Conversely, we tend to devalue what is acquired at little or no cost.

           This explains to some degree why people are just recently beginning to concern themselves about our environment. It also explains why so many people have such a difficult time accepting Christ’s free gift of redemption and forgiveness of sins.

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           When our attitude toward life includes the belief that people or things are ours to possess and will bring fulfillment, then loss can be devastating. If we invest most of our energies toward something only to lose it involuntarily, we suffer untold pain. This is a natural phenomenon. Our only defense is to examine and adjust our attitudes and resultant actions toward more fulfilling goals and to practice contentment and gratitude for what we have.

           When we have attitudes such as, “I must have this job,” “I must have a bigger house,” “I must have more money,” etc., we are setting ourselves up for disappointment and loss with all its attendant grief and misery. One of our greatest virtues is thankfulness and one of the greatest sins is thanklessness.

            When we are not successful at attaining our goals or we experience setbacks and losses, we are convinced that something is terribly wrong. Rather than assess the ultimate value in pursuing certain goals (or our attitude toward the attainment of those goals), we go into a tailspin of destructive emotions resembling a child’s temper tantrum.

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           We must learn to accept the reality of disappointment and loss in life. Yes, we must grieve when we experience loss, but often it is in our darkest grief and despair that we can begin to see ourselves, others, God, and life in a way that will guide us to become what we were created to be.