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Leaving The Narcissist is a Personal Step Towards Rebuilding You

Your reality is distorted, you do not see life the way normal people in healthy relationships do. It is not long before you begin to accept that what you have with the narcissist is normative and ultimately all men are like him.

Leaving the narcissist is a personal step towards rebuilding you

        Anyone who has a problem with an addictive, destructive pattern of behavior must understand that half way towards finding a solution to the ill-desire is halfway towards breaking free from one’s demons.

        If you are in love with a narcissist, it is like being addicted to drugs.  You know it is detrimental to your health yet you cannot help taking a sniff because you love the high and the false sense of security you get from the temporary alteration of your mental state and consciousness, which is exactly how relationships with narcissist are.

      A life filled with highs and lows, euphoria and melancholia, peace and war, love and hate. It is an endless circle of emotions, your perception and sense of self skewed. You are trapped in a cycle of uncertainty, drama, heartache, painstaking love and teetering self hatred.  Your reality is distorted, you do not see life the way normal people in healthy relationships do. It is not long before you begin to accept that what you have with the narcissist is normative and ultimately all men are like him. 

It is difficult to end a relationship that one has invested time and precious emotions in.  Most women remain in abusive relationships because they believe it is virtually too late to leave now.

         They are afraid of starting over. Some are afraid of being a failure because since your relationship failed then it means you are a failure.  You desperately want to make it right. But you cannot attain perfection for the narcissist. You accede and resign. The narcissist was right; you are absolutely substandard and unworthy of being his partner.   This is the harsh self judgment and twisted perceptions that keeps women trapped in abusive relationship because they measure their self esteem on achieving an impossible goal which is pleasing an emotionally unavailable man or a narcissist, a merely impossible task to accomplish.

  Women refuse to admit that the frantic and sincere desire to make a relationship solid; that was built on shaky grounds is not only counterproductive but self destructive. Building on shaky grounds and attempting t o correct a foundation after the building has been erected and entrenched may cause the entire structure to cave in and a disaster worst than one could possible ensues.  

      You should muster great courage, tenacity and will power to leave the narcissist. Some people will not like your decision to leave this shaky, labile relationship that could earthquake any minute now and swallow you forever into its angry, uncharted depths.

           But you must understand that you engage, influence, encourage, facilitate and sometimes encourage the narcissist’s abuse because you refuse to leave or see your relationship for what it really is.  It means admitting that you can survive without being a part of the narcissist universe or making him the center of your Cosmo.  It means you should quit pretending that everything is alright and fooling yourself into believing he will change or things will get better.  

          Take a personal inventory today and discover who you really are.  Do an honest examination of your life taking everything into account including your personal satisfaction and your needs.    Then you will find yourself and make a decision that has your happiness in mind and heart. 

 What do you think? 

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  1. lillyrose

    On April 1, 2010 at 8:45 am


    good advice. I am glad I have never had to deal with this situation.

  2. LoveDoctor

    On April 1, 2010 at 10:49 am


    I love your articles and way of thinking. keep up the good work.

  3. Jimmy Shilaho

    On April 1, 2010 at 1:06 pm


    Great advice. Narcissism is the mother of discrimination.

  4. LilRoastBeef

    On April 10, 2010 at 6:40 pm


    i really enjoyed your article. a lot of times, just the stimulation of the emotional roller coaster IS the incentive to be in the relationship…good job

  5. Ruby Hawk

    On April 10, 2010 at 8:36 pm


    Sometimes women get in such a deep rut they can’t see the way out.

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