Let It Out: Healthy Anger
What is anger? How can we express anger in a healthy way?
Anger is a healthy emotion, an emotion that every person feels. So what is anger anyway? Anger as I said is an emotion, it is neither a wrong or a right feeling. Anger only becomes a problem for people when it is repressed or is associated with aggression which by the way is a behavioral problem. Unresolved anger can lead to serious physical and mental health problems, such as heart disease, stroke, depression and anxiety.
So why do we get angry? Why do we need to get angry? First of all when we get angry, basically your trying to tell your self something is wrong. In other words anger is a second emotion alerting you that another emotion is in effect, fear, sadness, frustration. Anger is trying to keep us from harm, it is the response you produce that can help or hurt the real problem, the primary emotion. Understanding the reason why you are angry will help you to solve your anger in an appropriate and healthy manner.
Where does anger come from? It comes from inside you; it is a natural response to dissatisfaction with something with in your environment. Anger can be brought on by a present situation or can build up over time. Letting anger build up or stew over time is called “suppressed anger.” People who normally suppress anger are often very destructive, meaning when something triggers the anger about a past event; the response is often over reacted, or aimed towards someone who originally had nothing to do with the past event. Suppressing anger can often lead to depression, violence, or obsession; That is why dealing with your anger in a healthy manner is so important, and also it will help us control our anger from being directed at the wrong people.
Because anger is a healthy emotion and is only wrong when the behavioral reaction associated is inappropriate, this emotion can be turned into a good emotion. Healthy anger can teach us to problem solve instead of blame; it teaches us control and ultimately helps us to find the real root of the problem and solve it appropriately.
Here are some tips for some emotional release of anger:
- First Take a deep breath Breathe in through your nose for five seconds and out through your mouth for five seconds. Repeat until you feel calm.
- If you are angry with someone else try writing them a letter, write it as messy and mean as you want. Get your anger out in words, when you’re done tear it up, burn it or dispose in a manner where it can not be found. This exercise really helps.
- Talking with someone who is not in any way associated to your anger, talk to them, release your frustration. The person whether a friend, family member, or some one else, they will listen so talk let it out.
- Perhaps you would rather work out your anger with some physical action, try lifting weights, hitting a punching bag, going for a run or bike ride, jump on your kids trampoline. There are lots of ways to sweat out the anger, see if you can find ways to let it out…
A few more tips:
- Punch a pillow
- Scream in the car
- Go for a nature walk, kick rocks, curse at trees, etc.
- Dance
- Twist a towel
- Beat a rug out side
- Relax….Breathe…Let it out…
Remember we all get angry it how we respond to anger that makes getting angry seem so wrong. If we all let our anger out in a healthy manner once in a while our normal everyday responses to anger will be controlled and save some unwanted grief. So relax, take a breath and sometimes let it out.
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User Comments
Verniel Cutar
On August 8, 2008 at 9:43 am
It’s really important to have an outlet for your anger. When you keep it inside, it becomes unhealthy and might lead to emotional breakdown or an overall negative attitude. Thanks for posting this article!
cayla
On September 19, 2008 at 2:12 pm
I like this article. Question what if you spend most of the time alright holding in your angry? Is it too late to release?
Glynis Smy
On September 20, 2008 at 11:01 am
Anger released in a controlled manner is a good thing, good articled with sensible guidelines
raguett MF
On September 22, 2008 at 7:04 am
for Cayla….try not to hold in anger it wil build up and you might pop…..find some anger realese..hit a pillow, go to he gym…find something remember anger is healthy when you let it out..with inteligents of course…breath relax and beat the crap out of your pillow,,,it helps…take care…MF
Cathy
On October 22, 2008 at 4:06 pm
I like to write what I am angry at on a piece of paper, the rip it up into little pieces and just generally destroy it… it works great!
Katelynn
On November 30, 2008 at 2:43 pm
sometimes i try ways to let out my anger by cursing.hitting things,or even stop eating or sleeping.everthing i try doesnt work!!normally i take my anger out on people around me and that makes me even more mad!!idk what to do!!if u can leave a comment up to give me some advice that would be great because im losing my fricin mind!!!!!
MF Raguett
On December 1, 2008 at 8:42 am
For Katelynn…if none of the breathing methods are working, try keeping an anger dy to see what specifically is mking you angry….keep a journal for a few weeks go over it and give some self therapy..then if you need to speak to a doctor yoy’ll have something to show him/her…..And remember it’s okay to get mad, its when you get mad we all have to try and control….take care
MF Raguett
On December 1, 2008 at 8:43 am
I mean a diary…anger journal…sorry about the spelling..MF
xbell
On December 23, 2008 at 3:16 am
I recently married a 42 year old woman who was abused physically in two marriages for all of her adult life. Now, even though I have no experience in my life of any kind of spousal abuse, she accuses me of being an abuser. If I show ANY anger at all, she freaks out as though I am going to hurt her and tells me I am abusing her. I am worried that if I can’t express any anger at all, it will build up in me and as you say…I will suffer the effects of that. Any advice?
cayla
On January 17, 2009 at 10:18 pm
I hold my angry in. Guess i know
what my problem is now.
cayla
On January 17, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Thanks for advise.
jenn
On May 26, 2009 at 3:00 pm
xbell, your wife maybe needs some counseling, or maybe both of you can go to counseling together.She has experienced abuse.
Pat
On June 5, 2009 at 4:52 pm
If you do not feel comfortable talking about your feelings, I found this website http://www.VentAboutLife.com, where you can anonymously post the things that are angering you. It really helps to get your feelings out.
Khalid
On July 17, 2009 at 7:32 am
Great article
. Thanx
For me, i usually express my anger in travelling short trip or in sex, it works for me.
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