Life After Abuse: Therapy is Not a Dirty Word

Therapists also have at hand many options that the survivor can use to cope with the unique challenges that come from leaving an abusive relationship. Talk therpay, the iconic representation of the mental health profession, is but one of the many tools available. The benefits of talk therapy are well known and perhaps can be best summarized as the survivor being given an opportunity to verbally express their experience and explore it’s implications in their life at the present. The use of journaling and the creative arts also allows for expression of the experiences in a non-judgemental setting.

The advantage that talk therapy has over the more private methods of journaling or creating artistic representations to explore the subject matter of the abuse is the therapist can assist the survivor in understanding their experiences and suggest alternate, potentially more successful approaches to handling the challenges present. If one is working with a mental health professional who is certified to prescribe medications, it is possible to gain the assistance of modern medical miracles such as the myriad of SSRI medications on the market. The use of medications to manage mental health problems has as painful of a stigma against it as talk therapy, however the benefits often outweigh the potential embarrassment of discovery.

Frequently, the different methods of therapy are combined to develop the most appropriate method for a survivior to progress upon their path to recovery. The sign that one is working with a good therapist is that they are non-judgemental of the survivor’s experiences; actively works to create an environment that puts the survivor at ease and provides a sense of safety; and pays close attention to the mental state of the survivor as they discuss and detail their experiences, making note of signs of stress and anxiety to bring to the attention of the survivor.

One of the things that shapes therapy are the individual needs of each survivor and the experience of the therapist in working with abuse victims and survivors. The needs of each survivior are different and unique, though certain points remain consistant. Among them are the need for building a sense of security in the therapy sessions, a need for affirmation and validation, and the need to be as expressive in discussing the abuse as the survivior is comfortable with.

The therapy sessions and how it progresses also will be shaped by what the goals of the survivor or victim are for their therapy. In my own therapy sessions, my goal was to acknowledge and assimilate the experiences which had traumatized me from the abuse I suffered. In doing so, I found empowerment and that the specter of the past was no longer a thing of horror, but rather an ugly image I could turn away from at will. The needs and goals of the survivor, if one has a competant and skilled therapist they are working with, will lay the groundwork of how the therapy sessions progress as well as how long they will proceed. Ethical therapists will be delighted to see a client reach a point where they no longer need their services.