Losing your job is a nightmare. There are so many things to worry about. To make matters worse, losing your job is often a fairly large hit to your self-esteem. If you don’t find a job right away, you begin to wonder if you are employable, or even worthwhile as a person. You get discouraged. Unfortunately, that discouragement can be your worst enemy when it comes to getting a new job. Fortunately, there are ways to fight it off and remain positive about yourself and your future.

Get a grip on the reality of the situation

When you first discover you will be unemployed, or wherever you are in the process now, make a list of all your bills. Carefully go down that list and prioritize them. Mortgage, utilities, car payment, fuel, food, credit cards. Look for places where you can cut back on the spending. If you are expecting a severance package, don’t live as you would normally, try to stretch those dollars as far as you can. Look realistically at how much you have to have to live versus how much you would like to have to live. Investigate the unemployment laws for your state online. Do you qualify for unemployment? If so, about how much could you expect to receive? Many people are under the false assumption that unemployment pays half of your employed income. In most states and with most salaries, the amount is much less. Unemployment must be applied for within a short time period after a lay off, so do not delay this application process. Do you have children? If so, and no one else in your household is employed, you may qualify for food stamps. This can often make it easier to get by.The important thing is to know what you have to work with because knowledge is power.

Make a plan

Take the information you gathered above and use it to develop a realistic budget plan. For instance, if my husband were to be laid off today, unemployment would cover our mortgage and our car payment and insurance only. I receive child support for one daughter, which would cover water and garbage and paper goods. I currently attend college, so student loans would have to pay for our phone and internet and the electric bill, as well as my books, software, etc. We would need to apply for food stamps in order to feed the five children we still have at home.  This would give us approximately 11 months to find some other form of income, not very long considering my husband’s age and this economy, but at least we know that after 6 months of no work, we would need to take some more drastic measures. We might look at trading in the van for a smaller car that is completely paid off in order to both eliminate the car payment and reduce our insurance payment. Making a plan allows you to have control over your finances. You know what you can pay and when you can pay it, and make choices about your budget instead of just allowing whichever creditor that happens to call bully you into paying things that are not as important as others.

Do what you have to do for yourself

You may not think much of it, but when my husband has been unemployed, he looks his age, or even older. The frustration and worry wear on him. When he is positive and energized, looking forward to a second interview or working on a new prospect for a business, or a project at his current job, he looks at least ten years younger. The wrinkles literally fade from his face. There are many things that you can do to fight the doldrums once you have a survival plan financially. Get up early, as if you had a job to go to. You do have a job, that job is to find work, and in order to find work, you need to take care of yourself so that you can present yourself well to prospective employers. Try an early morning exercise routine. Even 10 minutes of stretching every morning can put your mind in a more positive frame for the rest of the day. If you can throw in a half hour of cardio exercise, so much the better. Then eat some breakfast and hit the shower. Dress as if you were going to an interview, the idea is to be ready for any chance encounter that might bring a job offer. Smile in the mirror and be proud of how good you look. In fact, just smile. Find something to make you smile every day, whether it be a funny quote, a movie, a flower in bloom, a hug from a family member, or something else. Be gentle with your family. Remember that this is a hard time for them too. Everyone’s tempers may be short. Try to be understanding and forgiving, especially of yourself. It may not have been your fault that you were laid off, but it is your job to solve the problems that result. Only you can control your actions and your point of view. Even when it seems impossible, you need to look at the positive things that you do still have in your life.

Pursue employment

Don’t just fill out forms and applications because it’s what you are supposed to do. Really search for full-time work in your preferred field, and in any other area where you have an interest and the required skills and experience. Go ahead and look at contract work while waiting to find a full-time job. Go to your local job center to find leads. Ask your network of friends, family, and contacts if they are aware of any positions that might suit you. Study resources available about resume writing and interview techniques. If all else fails, remember that taking a step down in income, even if it’s a large step, to pay the bills does not mean you are less of a person. It means that you are providing in the best way you can, for now. In the meantime, practice your skills or work on new training so that you can jump back in at a higher level when the opportunity arises. You might take this time of waiting to get training in a field that you were always interested in, but were too busy to pursue. Don’t stop looking for opportunities to make things better. See each application as a learning experience and try to learn how to present yourself in a way to grab the attention of a potential employer in a positive fashion. The news may say that there are 13 million people unemployed, but only one of them is you. Only one of them has the exact combination of personality and skills that you have to offer. Only one of them has control over your future. The only one who can plan and make a difference in what you do with this situation is you.