Love & Loss: Hurting Less

“Things will get better”. You’ll hear this phrase a lot, and as good as the intent is behind it, it never really seems to help that much.

So what are you supposed to do? It seems a question unanswerable in times of hurt. You need to remember that as much as you may not believe it right now, things will get better. Hold onto that and invest yourself into that mantra. This is essential to anyone to keep the motivation. This time alone is a time best used for bettering yourself by focusing on you! Exercise, pick up a hobby, learn a trade. Do the things that you’ve wanted to do, but were afraid to do out of fear of disapproval from your significant other.

Don’t waste your time or your patience on trying to forget the other person, you never will, and trust me when I say you never truly want to. Along the same lines, don’t attempt to vilify them either. Most breakups happen out of sheer lack of compatibility, and then an event (argument, or small mistake) is the straw that breaks the camel’s back.  So there’s no reason to blame either of you. If they did something malicious to cause it, they’ve already vilified themselves, and there’s no reason to cause yourself that stress and anger. If you made the mistake you’ll never really convince yourself that they’re a “worse person”.

Don’t just try and distract yourself with bad habits. Drugs, drinking, one night stands, are all things that lead to deeper sadness. While initially numbing, these activities are filled with detriment, and will only skew your perception of what’s making you sad.

You’ll always have ups and downs, this goes with any part of life. Realize that it’s ok to cry, but make every attempt to not do something careless in your low state. Don’t pick up the phone and start dialing numbers crying your eyes out.  You’ll find that you will only hurt yourself or others more by doing this.

Take the pleasures of life, forget the bad days, they’ll always get fewer and farther between. Surround yourself with positive people. Go out and have fun, meet new people, and most of all LIVE! Love is one of the greatest gifts of all, topped only by life itself!

In the words of the great philosopher Red Green, “I’m pullin’ for ya, we’re all in this together”