Not Making It Your Problem

Julia went to visit her first grandchild. She thought of her own grandmother, and also how she had raised her children. When she arrived she found her son and his wife were following the new ‘feral‘ style of parenting.

The feral style, used by animals, allows the child to do whatever s/he wants. There is no discipline. There may be ’strong words’ but no screaming, hitting, or attempts to toilet train.

In short, little Emily was on the level of a chimpanzee.

Julia made one rather lame remark about a three old in a diaper and gained one of those philosophical responses last heard on Oprah.

Julia decided it was not her problem, and she was not going to make it her problem.

Julia’s visit was thus totally stress free. She could not be considered an interfering old biddy’ or judgemental.

In life, whether family or office, whether neighbor or nation, you will be confronted by situations in which you know what is ‘right’ or the ’solution’ but as no one is interested in what you have to say, say nothing. This is because anything you might say will not effect anything but the attitude towards you  of those to whom you speak.

The happiest people are those who confine their advice/input to those who request it. They do not make other people’s issues their problem.

The point is very simply, if you can’t solve the problem it is better not to put it on your head.

Hence Julia’s relationship with her son and his wife remains at the cordial level. If Emily wears a diaper to kindergarten or is put on Ritalin, it is Not Julia’s problem, and she will not make it so.