Provocatively Stupid

Who Wants to be a Millionaire was on the TV in front of me. The contestant said he had a dream about what’s-her-face, the hostess. Immediately afterwards he explained it was – tee hee hee – “Not as provocative as it sounds.”

Stuff like this is truly irritating. It’s the misuse of the word “provocative”. This is a word that refers to something that provokes someone to do something. What this douche didn’t realize is that there is no provocative connotation whatsoever with his previous statement. There is a sexual one, perhaps, but not necessarily a provocative one.

What this douche meant was that the dream was not as “sexual” as it may sound. He meant “sexual”, not “provocative”. Due to the commonality of using the word “provocative” with a sexual connotation, in our grammatically ignorant society, this douche has mistaken the two words as being synonymous.

Make no mistake.  There is nothing incorrect or improper about using “provocative” with a sexual connotation. “The way she bent over the pool table and shoved the 8-ball up her cornhole was provocative to Joey” is a complete, well-structured, meaningful sentence because most people will know what Joey is being provoked to do. He wants to ream her from behind.

However, one could also say “The ‘kick me’ sign on the overweight chess club member in suspenders and slacks was provocative.” In this case, the idea of kicking this young gentleman with taped glasses is what is being provoked. There is nothing sexual about this statement, unless of course you have a rare ‘kick me’ sign fetish.

My point is that this douche on TV misused the word and it kept me up all night. People should not use fancy words unless they know what they mean. I didn’t finish watching the show, but I hope for all of us that he didn’t become a millionaire. This country does not need another millionaire with a low IQ.

I would have dismissed his mistake and would not have assumed his IQ to be low, but the imbecile didn’t even know the answer to his second question. The correct answer had to be the metal that is not an element on the periodic table out of four options. The four options were gold, iron, steel, and nickel.  Which one is not an element?  Duh! 

I am personally not scientifically-inclined yet I know steel is not an element. It’s common knowlege.  It’s main ingredient is iron, which is an element, sure, but it steel is not an element. How could an individual who has qualified for this waste-of-time gameshow not know this? Hasn’t this guy ever picked up a box of nails? Actually he probably hasn’t. People on shows like that have never done an ounce of manual labor in their lives. The idiot wasted his 50/50 lifeline on the question, so there is hope that he will not be a millionaire. Throwing a chair at the TV was a very provocative idea.