My warning bells started when I was a small child; I could feel my mom’s stress and frustrations every time my biological mother was stopping by. I was always instructed to be on my best behavior but the feelings I had every time my biological mother came over was one of deep hatred and something I couldn’t understand as a child. My mom and dad got along good until my biological mother came up in their conversation; then tension, anger and frustration usually resulted in verbal and later physical fighting.

Unfortunately back then there weren’t any organizations or help for these abuses. There were many wrongs done and we had a Dysfunctional family. Some like my biological mother was more dysfunctional than others. My biological mother seemed to get some sort of perverted joy out of making my mom and dad’s life miserable. Her mission in life was to destroy me.

I knew nothing about dysfunctional families, dysfunctional people or to be honest dysfunctional anything. I didn’t learn about dysfunctional families until I took the course in a community collage in my thirties. That’s where I learned that all people come from dysfunctional families because all families are dysfunctional; it is the level of dysfunction that is the difference. There is no one cause for dysfunction and in some cases there are many.

A child doesn’t understand these warning bells or how to deal with them. Parents should listen to their children’s concerns and discuss them with their children; then pay close attention to any situation that puts the child and the proposed problem in contact with one another and never leave them alone with the proposed problem person nor let that person take your child out of your line of sight or hearing. Depending on the severity of the problem you may not want the person around your home, work-place, etc., at all.

Grandparents need to stop being afraid of their children when caring for their grandchildren in the place of their children. Grandparents need to stop cowering down to the taunts and threats of their children when taking long term care of their grandchildren. Every parent’s nightmare is not having been a good parent, not having done enough or having made mistakes that could have been avoided. Unfortunately children grow up resenting their parent’s mistakes instead of bettering their own lives many set out intent on self destruction, some set out to destroy their parents and some take their anger out on everyone they come into contact with. All of these are accurate in varying degrees and should bring up the red flag and or sound out the warning bells within you. If the problems stem from your child and you have taken the responsibility for the care, health and well being of your grand child that responsibility to your grandchild must be placed above that of your responsibility to your child. Believe me it won’t matter to some of those children; they will resent both you and their own child or children. Some parents will even hate their parents and child or children, sad but true.

Believe me when I tell you that it won’t matter to those of your children who feel neglected even if they weren’t, abused even if they weren’t, or singled out even if they weren’t. The child within will never admit their own mistakes made because their bad and poor choices born out of anger, spite and revenge created an even larger gap between you as a family, which many carry with them through death. They refuse to understand and accept that you as a parent did your personal best at the time or that if they had reacted differently and did things differently their own lives and outward look on life would be different to this day.

The one big mistake all people make in this life is in thinking all children are born into innocence when in fact they are born into sin and iniquity. Through various tests it has been proven babies still in the womb can sense the feelings of their mother’s. It is believed and still under the testing stage whether or not babies still in the womb can hear what is said around them. Having given birth to five children myself I know that both were true in my case. I wasn’t happy to find out I was pregnant with my third child; I’d been on the pill and had been for months faithfully. I was on the pill for nearly three months while carrying her never realizing I was pregnant till I got sick with flue like symptoms and sought the doctor for medicines. Needless to say I was in shock that the pill failed. My ex-husband was ecstatic; he wanted to remain on welfare. I wanted to go back to school, get my GED and make something of my life but I didn’t believe in leaving my babies with others outside of family to raise, and staid at home to care for them myself since my parents were too old to properly care for young babies for more than three hours at a time, and my biological mother and her husband and other children wanted nothing to do with me or my children; not surprising.

Love can not be based on lies either because lies beget more lies until there is no trust left between you. If you catch your partner in a lie that should immediately sound off warning bells and bring up the red flag. The two of you need to talk about the problem and the lie(s); if your partner refuses to discuss it with you then you have even bigger problems to look forward to. No person from teenager through adulthood can honestly say they don’t know when someone is coming on to them or flirting with them, if they do they are lying. If your partner’s work calls your home looking for them because they can’t find them on a constant and you call them and can’t find them on a constant you probably need marriage counseling. If you know your partner is making more than enough money to pay the bills but somehow never has enough to do so, the red flag should be up high and the warning bells very loud. Seek counseling regardless of whether your partner will attend or not. It is better to talk to someone about your problems than to keep them bottled up inside until you are ready to explode.

Anytime you have doubt or suspicions ask yourself if there are genuine reasons for them; don’t be afraid to talk to your partner about them; don’t be ashamed because you have them , it is the way of this world to create doubts and to raise suspicions to break up families and even corporate partnerships. More chaos comes out of assuming a rumor is true and acting upon the assumption than there are vehicles on the interstate during rush hour on a week day in New York and Los Angeles combined.

Salesmen, attorney’s and lawyer’s are good at what they do because they lie all the time to earn their money. Their income depends on their being convincing even if it’s not the truth and or they don’t believe it themselves. There are some salesmen that truly believe in what they are selling and don’t lie about it, but I personally can’t say the same for attorneys and lawyers. You would have to be very careful when dealing with any of them and sign nothing without reading the fine print yourself; and if you have any questions get a second opinion from someone your attorney or lawyer friend doesn’t know in the field. Many of them believe everyone is a lyre because they themselves are, and they can’t trust because most of them are not trustworthy themselves. But they aren’t the only ones, anyone dealing with criminal activity day in and day out become cynical; untrusting; intent on making a case even where there isn’t one; degrading and accusing anyone who lives and believes differently than they do; in some cases harassing those with no prior convictions until they can trump up a case based on lies and deceptions, and those are just a few of the things.

If we do not pay attention to the red flags and warning bells we become entrapped in evil games that attempt to destroy us individually, family wise; as well as mentally and emotionally. Life is in fact an adventure in learning as we grow older; as we learn we were suppose to teach others younger than ourselves so they may experience life differently and hopefully better than we had. That depends on which direction each individual chooses to take being as we each have the freedom of choice. In choosing we should remember that although no person is perfect, so long as we do what is right in our hearts and do our best to do all that is right and good, we have done well.

It is when we stop caring about others around us and begin caring about the tangible, touchable and disposable things this world has to offer us that we become evil and doing evil. We stop seeing the real red flags and hearing the real warning bells and become fearful of everyone and everything around us, we actually look for, seek out and attract to us the very evil we fear. We are suppose to meditate upon the good things, Word of God or good philosophies and listen to those words, not listen to the evil of this world. What is the evil we listen to?

Information is educational but when that information is drilled into us day in and day out, repeated over and over several times a day for days on end, blown up as though it is becoming an epidemic then it is wrong to dwell or meditate on the sinful things. That which we think about and dwell upon is what will come to us because we begin to expect that instead of the good things that are rightfully ours to have. The evil entities of this world will laugh at this truth but those that know the truth, knows the truth in this that I write.

When we concern ourselves with the matters of our own family issues; be of genuine assistance to our neighbors; study and meditate upon the good teachings of the Word of God or positive philosophies we are more in tune with the good energies of life around us, our eyes are opened to the real truth surrounding us. Studying the scriptures are not going to help much so long as we don’t practice them. Negative energy breads fear, depression, a victim’s mentality, illnesses, etc. to the point of self destruction. We can still be aware and concerned about the evil around us but to worry, fear and be anxious over the evils of this world will only serve further evil purposes because those are negative energies. Evil energies will set off the red flags and warning bells even when there is no problem breading even more suspicion, fear, etc. and create more unwarranted problems within your spear of friends and family.

You know which category you fall into; you have the ability to choose for yourself whether you want to live with positive energy or negative energy, and only you can change the energy within and around you. Which do you choose?