Self-Criticism: Why Do We Do It and How Can We Stop?
by Self-criticism is perhaps one of the worst forms of criticism there is. Who else is better at telling you how, fat, and ugly, stupid or incapable you are?
Where do these beliefs come from and why do we hold such negative beliefs about ourselves? Is it curable, and how do I change these deep set beliefs?
A lot of people who have had to deal with emotional abuse or abandonment as a child will often put themselves down as it enhances the belief that you are unworthy of love. If you were unloved by your father or any other leading role model whom you loved while growing up then it is easiest to believe you are these things. Why? Because if we were worthy of love then why did they chose not to love us?
Who Can Change It?
Fortunately, the power of change to your life lives within your own hands. You have every tool you need to change your life. All you need is an open and willing mind and a bit of time and energy for dedication.
How Do We Change It?
The key here is awareness. To know yourself is to know how to choose a separate path for yourself. A lot of people get stuck in old habits and are totally unaware why they do the things they do. Most of the time it is happening unconsciously. If you are aware of when you are verbally beating yourself up then you can make a choice to stop the internal dialogue in your mind and change it into something constructive and kind. Every time you look in the mirror and catch yourself saying “ew, I look fat in this, I am fat” you need to stop yourself and think about what you are doing. You are encouraging and strengthening your negative and limiting beliefs. You wouldn’t let your best friend treat you like that so don’t treat yourself I this way. After all you are either your own friend or your own enemy. Have the relationship with yourself that you would like to have with others, kind, compassionate, considerate and understanding.
You have to change the brain wave patterns which can take a long time but with simple awareness and by correcting your thoughts you can begin to walk a new “path” within your mind. Start be writing down three things you would like to believe about yourself for example I am worthy of true love, I am a beautiful and creative person, I am happy and I deserve happiness. Print this out and put it in places where you will read it often for example stick it on the mirror you get changed in front of, on the fridge, on the toilet door. And when you catch yourself being negative, repeat those three things five times until the negative dialogue disappears. Do this every time.
Simple daily exercises can change the way you think. When you are being positive you force your perception of the world and your internal beliefs to be positive. Think of tit as walking a new path through a new bush and every time you walk it, it gets easier to take. The brain is like a muscle, the more you train it, the stronger it becomes. I am therefore going to end this article on something I have said before… “It is therefore safe to say that you attract what you believe. If you believe in something, your mind will search out information to support you and in turn will prove you right”.
So believe in something positive, you are what you believe.
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