Self Worth
by Many of the problems we face may not directly be a result of things we do, but most of them are caused by our own low sense of self worth.
If we feel that we’re not deserving of respect and good things in life, it’s very likely we’re not going to get any.
If we’re always looking to others for approval and respect, we’re searching for validation from external sources.If your partner leaves you, there must be something wrong with you.If no one talks to you at a party.It must be because you’re not interesting enough. If you’re dismissed from your job, it must be because you’re not capable enough.And so on and so forth.
Because of this futile searph for approval, we tend to manipulate others and alter ourselves in order to make others love and respect us. This can be very damaging in relationships, because one is simply staging emotions and actions to appeal to the other party. Besides, it can become very tiring to love someone who constantly needs you to validate your love in order to feel good about themselves.
The struggle to seek approval and proof of self-worth in others is not going to bring anyone long-term happiness.Only you can raise your sense of self-worth by consistently affirming yourself.
Tell yourself ” I have value”.Nothing you’ve ever done has earned it,and nothing you’ve ever done has lost it, and nothing you’ve ever failed to do has lost it.You can appreciate others appreciation of you, bu don’t depend on it,for no one else can know you as you know yourself.And if they’re not appreciating you, it may simply be because they aren’t appreciating themselves either,so they can’t see beyond their own pain.
Unconditional love doesn’t have to be returned; it only has to be given, because giving is the nature.Once you begin to get your sense of worth from within rather than trying to get others to value you from without, you’ll have the freedom to allow people to be just as they are, whether or not they include you.And it gives you the freedom to love others, whether or not they return that love.
You can never do enough to please eveybody.So please yourself and let those who are attracted to what you are be attracted to you. As you become willing to release the compulsion to need validation from others,you can begin to give of yourself in a way that others will more likely value.Remember,you’re always in control of your own self-esteem.
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Post CommentEmma J Kerry
On February 1, 2009 at 4:02 am
I really like this. There is some really good advice here. Thank you for this.
cardy
On February 1, 2009 at 4:42 am
Good work, thanks for this good read.
michael
On February 1, 2009 at 5:00 am
good, well described article.
benjamin
On February 1, 2009 at 5:02 am
I really impressed with your article.
Christine Ramsay
On February 1, 2009 at 5:21 am
A really good article which I am going to pass on to someone I know who would benefit from reading this. Thank you.
Christine
Majic
On February 1, 2009 at 5:56 am
Thank you for the advice my friend. I’m sure a lot of people need this!
Betty Carew
On February 1, 2009 at 6:38 am
Wonderful article MA . If you are content with yourself you don’t need reassurance from others.
Mr Ghaz
On February 1, 2009 at 6:42 am
Good work! Well-written article. Thanks for sharing
lindalulu
On February 1, 2009 at 7:32 am
Great article and wonderful advice.
Westbrook
On February 1, 2009 at 7:58 am
This is great advice. I know what you are saying, but in the real world, a person’s environment affects the way a person feels about him/her self and others. This is especially true of young people. I always say “you are what you consistently think you are.” But this advice is not taken easily by most young people who are being shaped. It is much more accepted by older people who have lived and been tested over time.
M.A Bhanpurwala
On February 1, 2009 at 9:39 am
thanks west brook for your kind comment
M.A Bhanpurwala
On February 1, 2009 at 9:40 am
thanks yaffel for your comment
Darla Smith
On February 1, 2009 at 11:30 am
Great article!
Carolyn Cordon
On February 2, 2009 at 12:03 am
Good advice. I am my own best friend, and I love myself. If you don’t love yourself and value your own friendship, why should anyone else?
If that horrible critic who lives in my head starts rubbishing me, I just tell it to shut up.
S Air
On February 2, 2009 at 6:07 pm
A brilliant article. Your words have certainly given me something to think about. Thank you for sharing this.
Moses Ingram
On February 3, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Thanks for this, it’s really good advice and I’m going to be watching for more of your articles.
Rana Sinha
On February 4, 2009 at 9:38 am
Very good points here. I wouldn’t necessarily say to a person who’s relationship just broke up that “If your partner leaves you, there must be something wrong with you”. Instead of helping this might cause hurt and despair. I think as we grow older the role of other people’s opinions in shaping identity and self-worth decrease in most cases but not always. Sometimes I am reminded that we don’t automatically get wiser as we age!
Your message about having no compulsive need about getting validation from others is excellent advice.
OhSugar
On February 15, 2009 at 3:55 pm
This is really an inspiring piece. I enjoyed reading it, because it should awaken our self pride and help us do away with self lothing. Thanks for sharing.
Purnomosidhi
On February 23, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Two Thumb Up Bhanpurwala! Great perspective… of self Worth.. It’s inspiring
trishia
On March 5, 2009 at 2:20 pm
This is good,and sound advice. There are so many people lacking self-esteem for reasons beyond our imagination.It’s really hard to get through to them concerning this issue.
Thanks for sharing! I’m sure this will benefit many readers.
norma
On July 3, 2009 at 10:03 am
Insightful article however there needs to be more tangible advice as to what the disenabled needs to do