Seven Easy Steps to Become a Hero

In sports, an athlete needs a coach because athletes don’t see how they do what they are doing, when they are doing it. They need feedback from someone who really knows them, who can see their strengths and weaknesses.

Heroes also may not see the relationship between, say, their nutrition and sleep habits, and their achievement. Or they may overdo their exercises, and hurt themselves.

The coach is a caring observer who provides feedback from a small physical and emotional distance. Then the athlete can achieve his or her goals.

A Hero is on a quest, a search, an effort, a long-term project to do “Something”, to become “Someone”. (The Coach has a quest, too, but it is usually fulfilled, or fulfil able, within the context of her marriage partnership, as it develops over time. It often happens later in the marriage, because her now-heroic Hero truly loves and appreciates her, and wants to do all he can to encourage and support her personal fulfilment)

Who do you, the Hero, become? The true and unique you! There is no one like you in the world; only you can be the complete you.

And if you don’t do what it takes to fulfil your quest to do or be Something or Someone, then you, your marriage, and the world will be poorer for your cowardice—for that’s really what it is.

Each Hero must come to that “Something” themselves, finding its resonance in their heart of hearts. The Coach can help, but it is the Hero’s quest.

Always remember: Your wife is meant to be your Coach—not your contender, competitor, or critic. Encourage her to be your Coach by listening and repeating back to her what she is telling you. She is part of you, and you are responsible for keeping her in good working order. In fact, in a larger, deeper sense, your wife is you.

A Hero is not a Hero because he has achieved his quest, but because his thoughts and actions are heroic; they are:

• Responsible
• Honest
• Loyal
• Faithful and true
• Humble
• Sincere
• Loving
• Moral
• Focused
• Patient
• Positive

If you do not already exhibit all these qualities all the time—welcome to the club! This is why we need coaching. Remember that you are still a Hero-in-Training.