Soar the Sky as You Can: Aim High

Are you doing well? Average? Below average? We know the answer. It’s obvious, isn’t it?

But how do you know the answer? Where does your response come from?

These judgments, in truth, are entirely relative. Feelings of success are based on our position relative to those who have accomplished less. Feelings of failure are based on our position relative to those who have accomplished more.

Your feelings are as dependent on your frame of reference as they are on anything you’ve done.

As usual, Roger was out the door that morning and at his desk by 8:00 A.M. The Cleveland area corporate accountant was in his twenty-fourth year with the same company.

Before lunchtime, he was called into the head of the division’s office and told his services were no longer needed.

“When something like this happens, it really shakes you to your core. I don’t care how prepared you are,” Roger remembers.

The devastation was incredible, and denial followed. “This couldn’t possibly be happening to me,” Roger thought.

Roger read articles and books on dealing with layoffs and found stories of men who were so devastated by what had happened that they continued to dress and leave for work every morning, even though they no longer had a job, because they couldn’t face telling their families or neighbors.

Roger began to see his situation in a different light. He still ached at the rejection he felt, but he realized that he had enjoyed more than two decades of reliable work, which had allowed him to prosper and provide for his family.

Doing some volunteer fund-raising work made him appreciate his situation all the more. “If you can’t take some joy from all the opportunities then steady yourself against the setbacks, take some time to think about the folks who have seen nothing but setbacks, and you’ll realize all the good that lies ahead.”

You might imagine that a promotion on the job automatically raises confidence and self-worth. Instead, studies find nearly half of recently promoted managers in the technology industry express uncertainty and doubt about themselves and their new position. Psychologists find that the promotion can undermine their self-confidence because instead of being the best among a group of lower-level workers, they now find themselves surrounded by more accomplished people to measure themselves against.