Ten Tips for When a Friend Loses a Loved One
by My very close sister-like friend recently lost her mother, and I wanted to do all I could to help ease the load and give comfort. We were together at the hospital for three days and three nights before her beloved mother died. Then came the funeral arrangements. Having been through this myself, when my husband passed on, I feel I am qualified to offer some tips.
- Go to the hospital or hospice and be there as much as your friend wishes
- Offer to do anything, anytime, to help and repeat this offer, also look for things you can do
- Care for young children at home, their home or your home
- Look after pets, make sure they are fed or arrange this
- Take nutritional snacks and drinks to the hospital/hospice for those watching over their loved one. Make coffees and teas as needed, in the visitor’s kitchen.
- Sit quietly but be available to talk and give a shoulder to cry on. Pray.
- Leave, go home and do something useful there if this is what is wanted
- At your friend’s house: clean house, do dishes and washing, take in mail from letterbox etc. Mow the lawns, or arrange this.
- Field phone calls. Be a go-for and go for whatever is required.
- Be a support at the funeral, offer transport, food, and if necessary, keep out of the way until needed. Extended family often take over on arrival, so graciously step backwards. After the funeral, allow time and space for grieving, then be there when and if you know or feel you are needed. Short visits, phone calls and written support are good. Praying and letting your friend know that you are praying expresses spiritual love. Be understanding, everyone grieves differently and for different lengths of time. Grief can be triggered at any moment and understanding from close friends is a comfort and help.
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Post CommentK Kristie
On February 27, 2009 at 6:59 am
I can relate as I’ve recently lost my grandpa. These tips are worth sharing.
Lee Altman
On February 27, 2009 at 9:22 am
These are well worth hanging on to. thank you.
lee
papaleng
On February 27, 2009 at 10:17 am
that is what a true friend must do.. thanks for sharing.
CutestPrincess
On February 27, 2009 at 12:15 pm
thanks for sharing this great tips…
Kate Smedley
On February 28, 2009 at 4:04 am
As someone who’s been in your friend’s position I can vouch for these tips. It’s just knowing you have somebody there that makes the difference. A touching article, I am so sorry for your friend’s loss and for yours too.
weegysgram
On February 28, 2009 at 7:09 pm
great tips, it is always nice to have someone around when you really need them. It sure sounds like you are a true friend to all who need you.
rockjuneDrock
On March 15, 2009 at 11:58 pm
It is really a great sympathy! thanks for the tips!
Joie Schmidt
On March 29, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Beautiful, caring article*
Blessings.
Sincerely,
-Liane Schmidt.
Jo Oliver
On April 2, 2009 at 11:28 am
Indeed, great tips. The sit quietly and wait for them to talk is one of the best ones. Too many people try to distract the person, which never works!
Athlyn
On April 25, 2009 at 9:47 pm
Good practical insights.