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The Ability to Listen: Is Listening Better Than Talking?

by StumbleUponWriter in Advice, June 28, 2009

People like to say, “listen and listen good”. It’s more good to listen than to talk. Agree? Read on…

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For me personally, to answer the topic above, I would say yes.  More often than not, people keep talking but not having the ability to listen well and properly.  When we observe careers like psychologist, counsellor, educators, doctors, lawyers and many more, these are jobs that require a good listening skill.  You don’t see these people in the professions I’ve mentioned talking non-stop.  Instead, they are very good listeners. 

What makes a good listening skill?  Is it just listening non-stop but without voicing your views?  When do information gets absorbed instead.  Say you have a friend talking about his or her personal issues like marital affairs or family problems.  Would you listen on 80% and give opinions 20%, or listen for like 30% and airing your views and keep on talking for 70%?  There is a fine line there and it makes a big difference.  I’d say different people expect differently.  Based from my own personal experience, a lot of people do not like to be lectured, and they would prefer someone whom is able to listen to what they have to say.  Reversibly, what if you are the one needing attention and am not in the mood to be a listener?  Some would keep quiet and shut themselves out and some would require advices from others.  For this, I think there is a rather direct answer in which I find that the introverts tend to be good listeners and the extroverts, good talkers.  However, there is the opposite issue of this as well and that is something interesting to analyze.

Do you guys believe that when one listens more, one gains more as well?  I believe in this notion.  For myself personally, I have 2 common sides.  I can be talkative on days and can be quiet and listen on intently at other times.  I like to look at the situation at hand, and not based on a split personality but more towards trying to discern when to apply the theory of when to listen and when to talk.  This is another theory that I observe.  In a relationship mostly, you can see 1 is a great listener and 1 is a great talker.  There are cases whereby both parties are great talkers and listeners too, but it would be kind of boring in the long run.  What say you?  I would love to be in a relationship whereby both the natural listener and talker could change roles irrevocably.  At times, the boyfriend could keep on talking and the girlfriend listening intently, while on other occasions, having the boyfriend to listen and the girlfriend to talk and giving views.  Not nag, of course.  Alright, that should be on another topic – smiles. 

Think about a classroom setting or environment.  If you have a teacher standing there trying to teach something without the students listening to what she has to say, it would be kind of chaotic.  And I used to love lessons in school last time called Listening Comprehension.  Basically, as students, we were given speaker headsets to listen and there would be a cassette recorder of someone in a dialogue or relating a story.  After-which, once the recorder has finished, we would not be able to playback but having to answer questions given and writing them down. 

This is a good form of listening exercise, in my point of view and I encourage schools to have this session at different times.  Last but not least, think about your life and how you would want to inculcate when to listen on and when to give opinions, talk and to question.  Do experiment with this theory because life is a life-long journey.  I would love to be a good listener anytime and am still trying to be.

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User Comments

  1. Liane Schmidt

    On June 28, 2009 at 5:21 pm


    I once read a quote that has stayed with me ever since:

    “Listening is the greatest form of love.”

    Very nice article.

    Blessings.

    Sincerely,

    -Liane Schmidt.

  2. Mystify

    On June 28, 2009 at 5:57 pm


    A wonderful article.I like how you relate all of your articles to your own expereinces, it keeps them real.I personally like to listen and talk and sometimes neither,I can listen when I need to,talk when I want to and blank people out when I need the time for me.Perhaps that is rather self absorbed,however;I do feel it when people really need someone to listen and at those times,I always listen.Once again great article,certainly one to think about.thanks for sharing.

  3. irishpen

    On June 29, 2009 at 10:02 pm


    “A good listener is a silent flatterer”
    from Proverbs

    ~peace~ to a wonderful writer

  4. kate smedley

    On June 30, 2009 at 2:46 am


    It is so important to listen, another well written article, I like Liane’s comment.

  5. StumbleUponWriter

    On June 30, 2009 at 5:05 am


    Thanks friends for all your wonderful comments and for all readers whom have continued to read this article…:)

  6. Ruby Hawk

    On June 30, 2009 at 10:03 pm


    You certainly learn more by listening than talking.A well thought out piece.

  7. stumbleuponwriter

    On July 1, 2009 at 12:17 am


    Thanks, Ruby..

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