The Art of Conversation

Do social events make you nervous? Do you struggle to find things to talk about with certain people? Would you like a few tips on how to better converse with your family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, and new people? If so, reading this article is a great first step on the way to improving your conversational skills!

The first step (which naturally leads to the rest of the steps) in a conversation (after introductions, if you don’t know the other person(s) involved) is to make small talk for about five minutes or so, or until those participating in the conversation seem to be at ease with talking to each other. Try to find things that interest/involve your fellow conversationalists by taking into account what’s going on around you, the event you are there for, where you are at, what they are wearing, etc. For example, if you notice that somebody is wearing Nike shoes and that’s a particular favorite of yours, compliment him/her and say something about your interest in them. If you are spectators at a sporting match of some sort, say why you enjoy the sport, whether the conditions (ex. weather, etc) are good for the sport on that particular day, or something else related to that sport. The goal is to find common ground which interests everyone involved in the conversation – try not to leave anyone out because that’s rude and creates an uncomfortable situation for everyone. No gossip (it turns many people off, makes you look bad, and – more often than not – comes back to haunt you). Avoid negativity: smile and the world smile’s with you, but frown and you find yourself all alone. Once you find common ground, usually the conversation will naturally switch to other subjects and flow from one subject to the next.

If you notice that someone in the conversation does not seem to be doing much participating, try to figure out why. If other people are talking constantly with almost no break in between, he/she might feel left out because he/she hasn’t gotten to give his/her input without rudely interrupting somebody. To lead him/her into the conversation and create a more comfortable situation for everybody involved, ask him/her a question the first chance you get, and wait for his/her answer. For example, if the current subject is shoes, ask what kind of shoes he/she is wearing or wear he/she got them. If the subject is school, ask where he/she goes to/went to school or what are/were his/her favorite subjects.