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The Best Choice Words for Your Son, Daughter and Student

These are the best things you can say to your child/student. These best choice words are thus important as they’re special gifts you can give them to establish a healthy mutual belief, understanding, while strengthening your relationship with them. They’re special gifts you can give them to develop their self-esteem.

This is a continual discussion of my previous article Growing in Positivism.

Parenting and teaching are both painstaking and challenging jobs. When it comes to lecturing, teaching or instructing, not many of us know how to communicate effectively and thus both parties have trapped into a communication gap with their children or students.  The bad communication has led to many social problems among the children, youngsters and students.

There are some things not recommended to say in front of your child/ student. Don’t label them as “stupid” as this tantamount labelling leads to damaging their confidence and self-esteem. Extended calling of “stupid” can lead them to a negative thought, causing them to question their own intelligence.

It’s very common to hear phrases like “How many times I told you not to do so”, “You shouldn’t have repeated that”, “I told you not to do that”, “You should have listened to me”, “Why are you so stupid?” and etc. Do you know that these phrases can unconsciously hurt the feeling and self-esteem of your child/student?

When you keep on repeating the word “always”, it shows to them that you’re criticizing or judging them by not given them a chance to improve their mistakes, behaviors or wrongdoings.

It’s very natural that your child/student cares much of their appearances. This is particularly obvious among the teenagers, so you should avoid phrases like “Why is James/your brother so handsome and you aren’t?” or “Why is Jane/ your sister so pretty and you aren’t?” These remarks will definitely damage their social confidence, courage and self-esteem.

It’s not advisable to say “I don’t love you and I regret having you as my child/student.”These choices of words can kill their feelings, as they may feel unsecured, unprotected and unwanted. When they take these words seriously, they may have separated themselves from a group of people. Instead, they should be brought up in an environment of love, acceptance, mercy, and tolerance.

Labelling your child/student as “weak”, “hopeless”, or “useless” should be avoided. This means that you’re estimating them on their emotions which are not helpful enough to establish a good communication between both of you.

Instead, your child/student should be encouraged with positive affirmation to help developing their self-esteem and confidence. These best choice words are thus important as they’re special gifts you can give them to establish a healthy mutual belief, understanding, while strengthening your relationship with them.

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  1. Christine Ramsay

    On December 24, 2008 at 7:03 am


    This is such a good article. My children are grown up now and I know we made some of the mistakes you mention. I also found being a school teacher you had to be so careful to encourage children and show by example.

    Thanks for sharing

    Christine

  2. Debra.

    On December 24, 2008 at 11:29 am


    This is such a positive article and so many can learn from this on how to be a better parent or roll model. With a little encouragement a child will learn so much easier in a more effective and positive way.

    A much needed article.

    Happy Holidays, Chan, and so may more.

  3. CutestPrincess

    On December 24, 2008 at 11:36 am


    this is a good article, it’s a must to build a strong relationship with our kids! we must find the right words and action for them to follow! i always end each conversation with, “I love you” and they do the same! its great!

  4. lindalulu

    On December 24, 2008 at 11:47 am


    Very nice article Chan. Happy Holidays!

  5. Ispellbad

    On December 24, 2008 at 1:19 pm


    Good! Liked it!

  6. Inna Tysoe

    On December 24, 2008 at 2:44 pm


    That was great!

    Thanks,

    Inna

  7. Blue Buttefly

    On December 24, 2008 at 4:52 pm


    Children don’t do what you are telling them to do. They imitate what you do. Great post!

  8. Unofre Pili

    On December 24, 2008 at 5:29 pm


    A must-read for teachers and parents around the world. I will take of this.

  9. CA Johnson

    On December 24, 2008 at 5:48 pm


    Great article. This is very good advice that people need to know.

  10. denguitar22

    On December 24, 2008 at 6:29 pm


    great article

  11. sheba

    On December 24, 2008 at 8:20 pm


    Great article. Advice that we all should read. Thanks for sharing!~

  12. Joie Schmidt

    On December 24, 2008 at 11:07 pm


    Lovely, considerate, wonderful article CHAN!!

    Blessings.

    Sincerely,

    -Liane Schmidt.

  13. eddiego65

    On December 25, 2008 at 12:33 am


    An excellent and insightful article.

  14. Eunice Tan

    On December 25, 2008 at 10:20 pm


    It is an important article. A must for parents!

  15. goodselfme

    On December 26, 2008 at 12:35 pm


    Not only are these words beneficial to children, but to anyone. Well done. A great post here and well received by your many friends.

  16. Lex92

    On December 26, 2008 at 12:53 pm


    Great words to use! Very important :)

  17. Glynis Smy

    On December 26, 2008 at 1:52 pm


    We have to be careful as the wrong words can be a mistake that hurts or confuses. Good article.

  18. Judy Sheldon

    On December 26, 2008 at 11:28 pm


    Great advise. We need to always aim for positive and refrain from being negative.

    Thanks so much and God bless.

  19. nobert soloria bermosa

    On December 27, 2008 at 6:06 am


    …truly the best words for the young ones

  20. Jamie Lee

    On December 27, 2008 at 7:04 pm


    I love your article. It is very helpful. Keep up the good work.

  21. PR Mace

    On December 28, 2008 at 6:00 pm


    Well done article. I could have used this advice while raising our children. I always thought when we took our children home from the hospital that we should have been given an instruction manual.

  22. valli

    On December 31, 2008 at 10:22 am


    What an insightful article!

  23. Jenny Heart

    On January 15, 2009 at 9:06 am


    I agree that negative expressions can kill a childs spirit, and lead to many sad emotions in the future. I agree to treat them with all due respect. Great thoughtful writing!

  24. trishia

    On February 19, 2009 at 9:53 pm


    I feel disgust when I think of the many children not being nurtured by these positive avenues. They worked for my children,and I try to pass them on to others.

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